Vs jokes
What is the difference between whores and nuns?
Nuns usually discover their own chosen vocation. Whores usually have their vocation chosen by pimps.
What’s the difference between McDonald’s and 9/11?
One is a drive through; the other is a fly through.
What's the difference between a cop car and a hedgehog?
With a cop car, all the pricks are on the inside.
What’s the difference between a puppy and a fork?
I don’t microwave forks.
What's the difference between an apple and an orphan?
An apple actually gets picked.
A bomb is like a baby; when you drop it, everyone screams.
What is the difference between Bin Laden and Santa? One stops at the top of the skyscraper.
Smoking a fag in Britain: 🚬
Smoking a fag in America: hate crime.
What is the difference between a woman performing anilingus on a man and a woman performing fellatio on a man?
If a woman is performing anilingus on a man, it is not classified as heterosexual sodomy, you fucking idiot!!!!
Girls: 🙏 *Period* ✍️💅
Men: 🗿 *Growth* 🗿🗿🗿
What's the difference between a rubber and Michael Jackson? Nothing, kids touch them both.
So if I drink alcohol, you're an alcoholic. But if I drink Fanta, I’m fantastic.
Who makes more money, a drug dealer or a prostitute?
A prostitute, because she can always wash her crack and sell it again.
What's the difference between roast beef and pea soup?
It's easy to roast beef.
A Texan and an Alaskan walk in a room. The Alaskan says, "My state is bigger than yours." The Texan says, "It won't be when it melts!"
What's the difference between my imaginary friend and God?
None.
They're both imaginary.
Me: What is the difference between your mom and a mosquito?
Friend: Let me guess, they both suck you.
How are a bald eagle and a bald man similar?
Because they both have eyes.
Orphans are like vegans, no one ever remembers the nice ones.
Women be like, "Men's heights," then cry when they get called fat...