Vs jokes
Why were the Twin Towers so mad?
They ordered pepperoni, but they got plain.
What's the difference between a silver medal and a priest?
They both came in a little behind.
What's the difference between your dad and cancer?
Cancer came back...
What’s the difference between an apple and an orphan? The apple has a family tree.
What do boobs and toys have in common?
Kids end up playing with toys, but adults end up playing with boobs.
What can an Olympic runner do that Hitler can't?
Finish a race.
What's the difference between Madeline McCann and Batman?
Batman returns.
I laughed when I realized that my suicide letter is way longer than my sibling's college essay.
What is the difference between a broom and a mop?
It’s hard to beat my girlfriend when she’s holding the mop.
What is the difference between an orphan and a non-orphan? You can slap the orphan, but not the non-orphan because they can actually tell their parents.
What's the difference between an apple and an orphan? The apple's actually get picked.
Chuck Norris and Medusa had a staring contest. Medusa turned to stone.
What’s the difference between a feminist and a rock?
A rock can break a glass ceiling.
What is the difference between a washing machine and a hooker?
I can put a load in the washing machine without it following me.
Q: What is the difference between Michael Jackson & Neil Armstrong? A: Neil Armstrong was the first man to walk on the moon, and Michael Jackson f@ck$ little kids in the a$$!
What’s the difference between a WNBA player and a rotten apple? The apple has a chance to make it into the basket.
What's the difference between a mole and a priest?
One will till your 13 to put hairs on your face.
So what is the difference between a real doctor and a doctor of philosophy?
One cures the sick and the other makes them sick!
What is the difference between a pile of dead babies and a red Ferrari?
I don't have the Ferrari.
What's the difference between a girl eating Taco Bell and doing sex a few times? Nothing. Something always comes out.