Vs jokes
Q: Give a man a day of therapy, he'll be sad for then and on.
A: Give a man a noose, he'll be sad for the rest of his life.
What's the difference between Donald Trump and a dirty diaper?
Answer: none, they're both self-absorbed and full of sh*t!
What's the difference between Michael Jackson and a plastic bag? One's made of plastic and dangerous for kids to play with, and the other carries groceries.
What is the difference between a light bulb and a pregnant woman?
You can't unscrew a pregnant woman.
What’s the difference between video games and my dad?
My dad doesn’t beat me.
Seal Vs Sea Lion
What's the difference between a school bus and a cactus?
On a school bus, the pricks are on the inside.
What is the difference between American teenage girls and Muslim teenage girls? -- American teenage girls get stoned *before* they have sex.
What’s the difference between a Ferrari and a sack of dead babies? I don’t have a Ferrari in my garage.
Corona be like:
Eliminating half the population of boomers faster than Thanos.
*snap*
What's the difference between Derek Boogaard and Kurt Cobain? Nothing, they were both fucked in the brain when they died.
What is the difference between an orphan and a watermelon?
One of them is picked.
What was the difference between the Federal Republic of Germany and the German Democratic Republic?
Federal Republic: The harder you work, the more you get.
Democratic Republic: The harder you work, the firmer the handshake and nothing else.
What's the difference between George Floyd and Joe Biden?
They both talk like they're on fent.
What hits the ground first, the feather or the emo?
The feather, because the emo is hung in the tree.
What's the difference between Carrie Underwood and a robot?
A robot can feign empathy.
What's the difference between a gay man and a hairline?
The hairline is way straighter.
This one time I said to a person that they are dry, then I was wet (ba dum tiss).
My bully said I have to shut up. I said, "Shut down" (ba dum tiss).
What is the difference between a knife and a feminist?
A knife has a point.
What's the difference between Jesus and a picture of Jesus? It only takes one nail to hang up the picture.
What's the difference between a Lamborghini and a hostage?
I don't have a Lamborghini in my garage.