Vs jokes
What's the difference between having sex with my girlfriend and a baby?
I don't have a girlfriend.
What's the difference between 13 dead babies and a skeleton?
There aren't any, there's 13 skeletons in my closet.
Murder is the same as suicide, except the other person is doing it for you.
What's the difference between Isaac Newton and the baby I just stabbed to death?
Isaac Newton died a virgin.
What’s the difference between prison and concentration camps?
At least you don’t die when you shower.
What's the difference between a boy and gold?
More people want gold.
What's the difference between Mark Zuckerberg and a lizard?
There is no difference.
What’s the difference between a bullet and a prostitute? They both burst a barrel.
What's the difference between a noodle and a scaboodle fladooodle?
What's the difference between a skeleton and a baby? I don't set the skeleton on fire.
There's a difference between my brother and Stephen Hawking.
At least Stephen Hawking does something.
What’s the difference between a mosquito and a blonde?
The mosquito stops sucking after you slap it.
What's the difference between a pizza & a person?
A pizza doesn't scream when I try to shove it into an oven...
What’s the difference between a Ferrari and a sack of dead babies? I don’t have a Ferrari in my garage.
What’s the difference between an orphan and a watermelon? One of them is fun to hit with a sledge hammer and the other one is just a watermelon.
What's worse than funny condom fails?
Jake Paul.
What's the difference between Michael Jackson and a grocery bag?
One's plastic and dangerous to play with; the other is to carry groceries.
What's the difference between a Ferrari and a sack of dead babies? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.
What's the difference between fruit and a freshly killed corpse?
I don't eat the fruit.
What is the difference between Sir Isaac Newton and the baby I just stabbed?
Sir Isaac Newton died a virgin.