Vs jokes

What's the difference between a baby and an onion?

One cries when you peel its skin off, the other makes you cry when you peel its skin off.

What's the difference between me and an egg?

An egg gets laid.

I don't understand why in horror movies they make digging a grave look so easy. It usually takes me days.

What's the difference between a Lamborghini and an erection? I don't have a Lamborghini.

What’s the difference between a tuna and a tube of glue?

You can tuna piano but you can't piano a tuna.

What happened to the glue?

I knew you would get stuck on that!

What's the difference between my dad and cancer? Cancer doesn't leave you.

What is the difference between a snowman and a snow girl?

Snowballs.

School and Boot Camp are a lot alike. The only difference is that in school, you don't have to get deployed to get shot at.

School is a lot like boot camp. The only difference is that you don't have to get deployed to get shot at.

What's the difference between a pile of babies and a Lamborghini?

I don’t have a Lamborghini in my garage...

Chuck Norris: "I block bullets with my beard." Abraham Lincoln: "I catch bullets with my skull."

The difference between women and beer is that beer makes you happy for nothing, why women make you angry for nothing.

What’s the difference between a living and dead person? I don’t know, I just bury the coffin.

If an illegal immigrant fights against a child molester, would that be "Alien vs Predator"?

Science flew us to the moon.

Religion flew us into two skyscrapers.

What's the difference between a pile of babies and a Porsche?

I don't have a Porsche in my garage.

What's the difference between a feminist and a pig?

There isn't one; they are both the same thing.

What's the difference between a dump truck of dead babies and a Ferrari?

I don't own a Ferrari.

I moved all the Bibles to the fiction section because there is no God, as said Stephen Hawking in 2011, but in 2018, God said there was no Stephen Hawking.

What's the difference between dead babies and a Ferrari?

I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.