Vs jokes
What similarities do peeping Toms and spies share?
They both see things they shouldn't.
What hits the ground first, the feather or the emo?
The feather, because the emo is hung in the tree.
What is the difference between apples and orphans? Apples get picked!
What is the difference between an orphan and an apple?
An apple gets picked.
"I'm sorry" and "my bad" mean the same thing. Except at a funeral.
Iran: We can beat the USA.
Japan: You do realize we beat him in Battleship, and he dropped the sun on us.
Iran: So?
Japan: Twice!
What's the difference between 100 dead babies and a Lamborghini?
I don't have a Lamborghini.
What's the difference between a black person and an apple?
An apple chooses to hang.
What's the difference between a cop and a bullet?
When a bullet kills someone, it gets fired.
What's the difference between Clint Eastwood and anal sex?
One will make your day, and the other will make your hole weak.
Slavery and discipline, it's kind of the same thing. You get whipped for doing the wrong thing.
What do visiting Goatman's Bridge and a bungee jumping accident have in common?
You hear a snap, and suddenly you're falling from a bridge.
What's the difference between a hippie chick and a hockey player?
A hockey player showers after 3 periods.
What's the difference between Paul Walker and a computer?
I give a fuck when my computer crashes.
What's the difference between a baby and a bowling ball?
You can't use a pitchfork to get the bowling ball out of the truck.
What is the difference between an orphan and an apple?
Q: An apple gets picked.
What's the difference between oxygen and children? I don't have oxygen in my basement.
What is the difference between a lightbulb and a pregnant woman?
You can unscrew a lightbulb.
What's the difference between an abortion clinic and a computer? Ctrl+Alt+Delete.
If an apple and an emo kid fell out of a tree, which would hit the ground first?
The apple, because the rope caught the emo kid.