Violence jokes
I got my blind friend a cheese grater for his birthday. He came back a week later and said it was the most violent book he’s ever read.
People say that they miss xxxtentacion, like the bullet didn’t.
What does it mean when there is a man in your bed, gasping for breath and saying your name?
It just means that you didn't hold the pillow down long enough.
How do you make a little girl cry for a second time?
By wiping her blood off your dick with her teddy bear.
What takes knowledge to do and also takes knowledge away?
Looking down the barrel and pulling the trigger. 😂
My friend said she wanted to fly, so I pushed her off a building.
Want to know how you make any salad into a caesar salad? Stab it twenty-three times.
I would never kill an animal. I'm more of a people person.
"And then I said, \"Knife to meet you.\""
"You stabbed my brother!"
"It's okay, I'm in stable condition!"
It's impossible to rape a rapeist because rapeists want sex.
Did you know pigeons die after sex? At least when I fucked it.
Me at the Oscars when I see Jada Pinkett Smith, I said: "G.I. Jane 2, more like G.I. Jada 2, can't wait to see it."
So Will Smith is laughing and then suddenly, Will Smith walks up to me and punches me in the face.
Me: "Ow, oh, wow. Will Smith just smacked the shit out of me.” My nigga Smith goes: "KEEP MY WIFE'S NAME OUT OF YOUR FUCKING MOUTH!" Me: "Maybe you should focus on keeping her friends out of hers."
What is a school shooter's favorite animal?
A Desert Eagle.
What is red, white, and goes round and round?
A baby in a blender.
Pickup line; Hey mama, you school? Cuz I'd like to shoot some kids up in you.
I started selling landmines disguised as prayer mats.
Prophets are through the roof!
Hate me all you want, but I rather love bullying in all fairness. I love to watch all the loner kids being abused while simultaneously making a prediction for when which one of them will finally snap and shoot up the school.
1 like = 1 more orphan I dropkick.
POV: You're at school and you just enjoy your day.
Now once you found a bully and he said, "I will burn you in fire," then you just punched him out of the school and got detention. You escaped and walked home, but the bully came and ROASTED you. He threw you in the garbage, but you took off his clothes and even his underwear. You escape the bin and took a shower and had a good day after.
Two hunters are in the woods and one falls to the ground.
Terrified, he dials 911 and says, “Help! I think my friend is dying. What do I do?” The nurse says, “I need you to make sure he’s dead.” The hunter replies, “Ok, I’ll be right back.” The nurse is startled after hearing a gunshot. The hunter comes back and says, “I checked. Now what do I do?” The nurse replies, “I need you to make sure his heart has completely stopped.” She is startled when she hears the sound of a taser. The hunter comes back and says, “What’s next?” The nurse replies, “I need you to make sure his brain has completely shut down.” The nurse is once again startled when she hears the sound of a bone being crushed by what seemed to be a hammer. The hunter comes back and asks, “Anything else?” The nurse says, “Nope. That’s it.”