Violence jokes

When you decide to turn your high school into your personal shooting range, but you don’t give any proper notice except for a bullet to the head...

Q: Why did Sally get beat up?

A: She couldn’t fight back.

Do nothing about people falling down the stairs, it will keep happening.

Put razor blades on the stairs, it will be their last time falling down the stairs.

If you're ever bored, just beat up an orphan. What are they gonna do, tell their parents?

Why are school shooting jokes so funny?

Answer: The bullets hit your funny bone!

My stepmom kicked me out of the house because I was raped and got pregnant. I kicked her to death because she had sex and gave birth to my rapist stepbrother.

What’s bad about swinging a dead baby above your head?

Stopping it with the shovel!

What do you tell a female with 2 black eyes?

Nothing, you already told her twice.

What's the best thing about beating up orphans?

They can't tell their parents.

True Story of Little Red Riding Hood.

The big bad wolf told Red Riding Hood to strip. He looked at her pussy and said, "Now I will fuck you!"

Red pulled out a shotgun from under her coat and said, "Oh no you're not. You're not, you're going to eat me just like it says in the book!"

Me and my friends were having a party the other day when some bitch came bitching about the noise. Thankfully, she was hot and had a nice ass, so it was enjoyable raping her.

The next day when I woke up, I found her body only half eaten. Her lower body was still intact, so I went for seconds to fuck off the hangover. Then I had breakfast. Her ass tasted good with some ketchup.

After arriving home from helping the priest, a young altar boy approaches his parents, "Mommy, Daddy, my poop is white!"

The mother rushes the boy to the hospital, while the father rushes to church in a rage and proceeds to beat the living hell out of the priest. Afterwards, the father heads to the hospital and meets his wife in the waiting room; she's surprisingly calm.

"How can you be so relaxed after what that bastard has been doing to our son?" he exclaims.

The wife looks up at him, "What are you talking about? It's just a liver infection!"

What's the difference between a pile of dead bodies and a computer?

I don't know, I have both!

What’s red, blonde, and wet?

Saskia in grain.

What’s the best part of raping an 11 year old girl?

Getting to kill the little bitch after you’ve finished with her.

What do you do after raping a deaf mute eight-year-old girl? Smash the little bitch's hands with a hammer so she can't tell her mum.

What would Donald Trump be if he was Black?

Shot in the head.

Son: Dad, what's a morbid joke?

Father: Walk over to a homeless man and throw a rock at him, then you will know.

Son: But Dad, I don't have arms or legs.

Father: Now you know.

A girl called me ugly.

So I drove over her with a car and called her flat.

I'm taking a guitar lesson at school. My band instructor told me he was going to hit me with my guitar. I asked him if that was a fret.