Violence jokes
A man walked into a bar with an AK-47 with a 50-round mag and yelled out, "Who the fuck fucked my wife?" Everyone was quiet.
One man at the back stood up and called, "Sorry mate, but I don't think you have enough bullets."
God bless the shooting that happened.
Why didn’t the orphan play baseball?
Because I took the bat and swung it at their kneecaps, and now they can’t run. What are they going to do, tell their parents?
Why did my dad bring a bomb vest to fit in with his Taliban brothers?
Why did the chicken cross the road?
Answer:
The man said, "He's going to rape the people on the side of the road."
My wife slept with another man and got pregnant. She told me 9 weeks later. I said it's ok and told her let's talk downstairs, so I pushed her down the stairs.
If you're bored, just punch an orphan!
What are they gonna do...tell their parents?
I wanna fight Gwen!
My wife told me to pass her some chapstick, but then I realized she hasn’t talked to me in a month, then remembering I gave her super glue.........ehh I’m done with her big ass mouth.
I'll break your bones, b*tch.
What do you call it when you light a person in a wheelchair on fire?
Cooking the vegetables.
When the school shooter is about to leave your classroom and the autistic kid's Sketchers light up.
I was walking to the park and a mystery killer came and shot me.
How do you put a baby in a blender feet first so you can see its facial expressions?
How do you get the baby out? With a tortilla chip!
I was fucking this girl, and I started to make her cry.
She mumbled things and squirmed, but I couldn't hear her through the gag I put in her mouth.
I would kill for something to eat--the cannibal.
GUY 1: How many babies does it take to paint a wall red?
GUY 2: Depends on how hard you throw them.
Roses are red, My cat try to kill your next >:)
What does a gas grenade and a baby have in common?
They both squeal when you throw them.
Roses are red... blood is too... I wonder how blood would look on you.