Violence jokes

What did the white kid pull out of his bookbag?

A 9mm.

"A llahu Aks into a bar..."

And it blows up!

I don't got a pencil or pen in this bookbag. Added like ten to the clip 'cause it look bad. Don't give a fuck if you pissed, nigga, get mad. Or you can bitch and get killed with your bitch ass. Lil' bro got blood on his shirt with his Crip ass. Go write a diss and get murked, don't do shit ass. Bitch, I'm a star, I might burst with my stiff ass. Hop out the car like, "Who want it? Who with that?" I don't know nothin', I was gone when they did that. Bandana wrapped where my chrome and my wig at. If he want beef, hit his home with a Big Mac. Niggas be breakin' the code like a Kit-Kat. Runnin' your mouth like a ho get you bitch-slapped.

Roses are red, my cum is blue, I'll wait till you're asleep to rape you.

What do you call a serial killer that only kills fat people?

A mass murderer.

There's a new cooking programme on BBC1. The contestants are victims of domestic violence. It's called "Can't Cook... Right Hook."

What's a school shooter's favorite anime?

Assassination Classroom.

Why did the clown fall off his bike?

Because the neighbor threw a washing machine at him.

Where did Sarah go after the bombing?

Everywhere. 💀

Never break someone's heart, they only have one. Break their bones instead, they have 206 of them.

How many babies does it take to paint a wall?

Depends how hard you throw them.

Why did the bank robber shoot the man with no arms?

Because he told the man to put his hands up.

What did the rape victim give to her rapist?

Head.

How did Sally die?

She got shot.

So there was a school shooting in Florida. Why didn't the shooter just go to Disney?.......sorry, I just work there and I'm trying to get people to come on down.

Q. How does an ISIS terrorist practice safe sex?

A. He marks the camels that kick.

As tragic as school shootings are, it's also a quick way to a late-term abortion.

Would you rather:

Fight Mike Tyson

Or

Lick an elephant's butt after it took a crap with diarrhea?

What do you do when you see a naked dead girl?

Check your map, you're obviously going in circles.

What do 100,000 battered women have in common? The bitch was wrong!