Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Bum.
Bum who?
Bum holding a pistol!
Why did the serial killer let the guy in a wheelchair go? Because the guy didn’t really have any body for the serial killer to stab.
My Dad keeps beating me and my mom. Please call the police. My name is Jacob Upchurch.
What is scarier than a pile of dead babies?
The bottom one ate its way out!
My wife told me to give her 8 inches, so I had to have sex with her 4 times and punch her in the nose.
When she says she wrestles, so you pull out your dick and she punches it.
I need to go to the hospital because I'm getting shot by a PUN.
Why did the little girl cry twice?
Because you wiped your shitty bloody duck on her favorite teddy bear.
If you're ever bored, just punch an orphan because what are they gonna do? Tell their parents?
So I punched an orphan...
What's he/she going to do? Tell his/her parents???
If you’re bored, punch an orphan.
What are they gonna do, tell their parents?
POV: You're at school and you just enjoy your day.
Now once you found a bully and he said, "I will burn you in fire," then you just punched him out of the school and got detention. You escaped and walked home, but the bully came and ROASTED you. He threw you in the garbage, but you took off his clothes and even his underwear. You escape the bin and took a shower and had a good day after.
The ice cream man tried to murder me today.
Why did the guy run because the girl ripped his penis off?
What's the POINT in stabbing people?
HAHAHA
Roses are red, I have a confession:
A man kills best friend after 10hrs anal sex session.
What is red, white, and blue and makes me proud to live in this country?
The baby in the corner I choked, stabbed, and then came on.
I hit my friend.
He's dead now.
Bambi was calmly eating grass. All of a sudden, a red dot pointed near his heart caught his attention. He looked around anxiously, and he saw a man in camouflage. He whispered, "Time to join mother, Bambi!" Bambi knew what this meant. He ran. He heard a gunshot, followed by a wave of extreme pain. Bambi fell to the ground. He glanced at his leg, which was no longer attached to his body. The man in camouflage came up to him and stabbed him in the heart. Everything went black...
Three guys are escaping from North Korea through a tunnel.
The guards know that they are coming and will shoot them with paintball guns as a warning.
The guys show up and the guards shoot them.
The guys die because the guards used real guns.
