Throat Jokes

A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales. The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because it was a very large mammal; its throat was very small.

The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale. Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human; it was physically impossible.

The little girl said, "When I get to Heaven, I will ask Jonah."

The teacher asked, "What if Jonah went to Hell?"

The little girl replied, "Then you ask him."

I would make a rape joke, but I'd have to force it down your throat.

What’s pink, nine inches, and makes my wife cry when I shove it down her throat?

Her Miscarriage.

A book went to the doctor’s office and said: “Doctor, doctor, I’ve got thesaurus throat ever.”

What's thick, 12 inches, and in your mum's throat?

My penis.

So, my sister is a feminist. I asked her, "Do you want to hear a rape joke?" She said no. I still decided to force one down her throat anyway.

Why can't Miss Piggy count to 70?

Because when she gets to 69 there's a frog in her throat.

The closest thing in a depressed person's life is a knife and his/her throat.

Why is the bible like a penis You get it forced down your throat by a priest

What's the difference between a penis and the bible? Nothing, the priest shoved them both down my throat.

My friend said they were going to make a comeback. I told them to do it at the back of the throat.

What did The Rock say to his dad?

"I'm gonna Rock Bottom my cock down your throat!"

How do you get a woman to give head? Force it down her throat and hold the back of her head. Make her gag for a little and then pull out. Do this over and over for 30 seconds or so. If she doesn't open up, choke her and force her mouth open.

Woman aren't human anyways... lol.

My mother caught me jerking off and she told me to leave it out. I didn't know what she was doing but she grabbed my cock and started sucking. Then I found out on porn she was doing deep throat.

A couple of weeks later my dad caught me jerking off, I thought he would deep throat, but he just walked up to me and slapped my boner. I cried for 5 hours. Luckily my mum gave me a sloppy joe afterwards.

"My friend and her boyfriend were kissing until she puts her tongue down his throat, and what happens next is really weird."

The tongue gets stuck in his throat and starts to guh-guh-gughhh trying to get her tongue out of his throat, but it cumssssss out with spit all over his tongue, then they break up because he didn't want that to happen ever again...:/

Yo Father, don't use the baptism bath. I cleaned my anal plug in there.

What?

The holy water gets all the ass off. Don't mind the white stuff. *clears throat*

I would like to thank my favorite President Barack Obama. Sorry, Barack Obama and my uncle Obama bin Laden. I mean Osama bin Laden. Sorry, hummus in my throat.

Nancy, the throat goat!

Are you a knife?

Because I want to deep throat you.

Why did the man sit on his porch and bark at the postman when he came?

Because his dog had a sore throat!