Violence jokes
Billy: Dad, I was shot by a sniper!
Dad: Uh...
*hides his rifle*
Q: What do you call an autistic kid with a gun?
A: Special forces.
Three rednecks, Billy, Joe, and John, are talking about their hobbies. They agree on shooting. John says, "I like shooting animals." Joe says, "I like shooting birds." Billy says, "I like shooting cans." Joe and John ask, "What kind of cans, like bear cans, Pepsi cans, or cola cans?" Billy responds, "Africans, Mexicans, Jamaicans, and Asian Americans."
You don't want to know why it takes so long to put a dead woman in a mass-produced coffin in a pre-buried grave dug by machinery that is then filled by mourners.
Why are most school shooters mostly white?
Because Black lives MATTER.
Chris Benoit is like a depressed orphan because he killed his family.
When the school shooter starts doing Fortnite dances and the autistic kid joins in.
What’s red and very rare?
A baby in a blender.
If you're bored, punch an orphan. What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?
I keep looking for my girlfriend's killer, but no one wants to do it.
A student got a bad letter grade, so the next day he came back with his own letter grade in his backpack: an A-K47.
What mental illness do terrorists suffer from?
Intermittent Explosive Disorder (IED).
What do Israel and Epstein have in common?
"Look at that, time to blow up some kids."
You just shot an unarmed man.
Well, he should have armed himself then.
I'm going to burn Braden Mitchell Kniffen's house down.
Today, my mom gave me a lecture on how to stay safe during school shootings. When my brother walked past, my mom asked me a question: "What do you think of going through kids' heads during a school shooting?" That's when my brother came back downstairs and said to me and my mom, "Bullets." We don't talk about this anymore.
What does a perverted frog say? Rub it.
Why don't witches wear underwear? To get a better grip on their broom.
What do girls and rocks have in common? The flat ones get skipped.
What is red and goes 200 mph? A baby in a blender.
A guy walks into a bar with a revolver and yells, “WHO THE FUCK FUCKED MY WIFE!”
A man in the back responds, “YOU AIN'T GOT ENOUGH BULLETS MATE!”
(I want to apologize in advance. These are very dark jokes.)
What’s red and bad for your teeth? A brick.
I was going to tell a dead baby joke, but I decided to abort.
Why does Dr. Pepper come in a bottle? His wife is dead.
Why does Helen Keller hate porcupines? They’re painful to look at.
Why can’t orphans play baseball? They don’t know where home is.
Give a man a match, and he’ll be warm for a few hours. Set a man on fire, and he will be warm for the rest of his life.
I asked a pretty, young homeless woman if I could take her home. She smiled at me and said yes. The look on her face soon changed, however, when I walked off with her cardboard box.
My wife and I have reached the difficult decision that we do not want children. If anybody does, please just send me your contact details and we can drop them off tomorrow.
What would Donald Trump be if he was Black?
Shot in the head.