Violence

Violence jokes

Clown

Q: What's worse than f**king a 2 year old?

A: Wiping the blood off of your clown suit afterwards.

Flavor

Why is black mystery not an Airheads flavor? Because we already know what happened to them. *shot fires*

Abortion

My gf told me she was pregnant. So I punched her in the stomach.

She asked me "Why the hell did you do that?!?!?" "I wanted to let you know I'm pro abortion."

Orphan

Why didn’t the orphan play baseball?

Because I took the bat and swung it at their kneecaps, and now they can’t run. What are they going to do, tell their parents?

School

Why was the American kid late to school?

Because he was too busy putting on his bulletproof vest.

Fire

I pushed the disabled kid into a fire, then called him "Hot Wheels."

Brother

This black dude goes up to an Indian guy and says, "What up brotha?"

The Indian guy gets offended and says, "We are not the same."

The black guy then pulls out a gun, and the Indian guy says, "Ok brother, ok brother, we are the same, we are the same."

Do the voice in your head.

Child Abuse

What are a doctor's and a WWE fighter's ideas on child abuse?

Doctor's: Don't do it, it does not help. Mood behavior.

WWE fighters: If it can crawl, it can brawl.

Wife

My wife told me to hang her the salt, so I beat the shit out of her. My name's Kyle, by the way.

Dad

Why did my dad bring a bomb vest to fit in with his Taliban brothers?

Baby

How many dead babies does it take to paint a wall?

Depends on how hard you throw 'em.

Super glue

My wife told me to pass her some chapstick, but then I realized she hasn’t talked to me in a month, then remembering I gave her super glue.........ehh I’m done with her big ass mouth.

Chicken

Why did the chicken cross the road?

Answer:

The man said, "He's going to rape the people on the side of the road."

Wife

A man walked into a bar with an AK-47 with a 50-round mag and yelled out, "Who the fuck fucked my wife?" Everyone was quiet.

One man at the back stood up and called, "Sorry mate, but I don't think you have enough bullets."