Violence jokes
I was trying to tell some people here to stop, but then I found out that the S was covered in blood from me assaulting someone.
One time I fucked this chick so hard, she almost came back to life.
A little boy and a little girl were taking a bath.
The little girl looked down and said, "What's that?"
"That's my little red sports car," said the little boy.
The little boy looked down and said, "What's that?"
"That's my little red sports car garage," said the little girl.
A few seconds later, the little girl said, "How about you put your little red sports car in my little red sports car garage?"
"Sure," said the little boy.
The little boy's mother was downstairs and heard this blood curdling scream. She ran upstairs. Once she got there, she saw blood all over the bathtub. "What happened?!" she said.
"Well, Johnny tried to put his little red sports car in my little red sports car garage...but it didn't fit...so I cut the back wheels off..."
Quote from Seth no.1: "I would have fought back, but she was seven."
What do a school shooter and a person with gum have in common?
One's the pull it out everyone wants to be their friend.
I kicked a goose, and I liked it!
What do you call a terrorist swimming?
A bath bomb!
What do Middle Eastern suicide bombers say before they blow up?
I weel sho u wot da bom bom is! ALLAH!
A guy was dying after getting stabbed in a church. He said to the priest, "Please say a prayer for me," and the priest said, "I ain’t got nun left." Then he died.
So, in "Revenge of the Sixth" when Anakin goes and kills the younglings, I thought to myself, "Hey, it’s just another day in an American school."
Please don't get mad, it's a joke.
What's the difference between a bullet and a police officer? At least when a bullet kills someone, it's fired.
What happens to chickens that get kidnapped by rapists?
They get choked.
What is white, then red, and is very fast?
My chainsaw blade.
Abortion is becoming more and more expensive these days. So visit Ammu-nation and pick up an Armsan RS-X1 tactical shotgun. It comes with a free box of ammo and a three year warranty. Buy now, pay later.
If you’re ever bored, punch an orphan.
What are they going to do? Tell their parents?
What do you call a white kid at the back of class?
A school shooter.
Want to know what I do in my freetime?
Punch an orphan, cuz what are they going to do, tell their mom?
What was the last thing to go through the terrorist's mind? The detonator.
Q. What do rapists fear more than rabies?
A. Rape babies.
A skinny black person named "Treyvon Robinson" joins a pickup basketball game at the local court, trash-talking about his "superior athletic genes" while munching on a stolen bag of Skittles. The ref blows the whistle for a foul, and he argues, "That ain't fair, I'm just naturally dominant!"
But the team's coach, a burly black dude who's been eyeing him all game, grabs him by the jersey, blindfolds him with a sweaty headband, slathers lube from his gym bag all over, and pile-drives his ass courtside in a twisted BDSM slam dunk, yelling, "Now taste the rainbow, punk!"