Violence jokes

I'm taking a guitar lesson at school. My band instructor told me he was going to hit me with my guitar. I asked him if that was a "fret."

How did Sally die?

She got shot.

How? She could not run away.

My jokes are so dark that I am surprised that the cops didn't shoot them yet.

Why do people who get shot in the head always become therapists?

They are more open-minded.

What's black and white and red all over????? A zebra in a blender!

I asked a kid why he was so blue.

Didn't realize his parents were choking him out.

People say rape is bad. It is because I don't want STD and HIV.

Roses are red, violets are not lime, if you turn around, I will fist you anytime.

When the quiet kid lost a game of basketball and reaches into his bag,

other people in the gym: "Oh shit this nigga bout to shoot."

Watersharky pega Gwen.

If you ever get mad, just punch an orphan. What are they supposed to do? Tell their parents?

How does a non-binary ninja kill someone?

They slash them.

Johnny is on his way to school when he comes across a frog. With a sudden inspirational thought, he picks the frog up, shoves a firecracker up the frog's arse, lights the cracker, and blows the frog to smithereens.

Now at school, the teacher asks the class: "Has anybody got anything for show and tell this morning?"

Johnny waves his arm in the air and is virtually screaming "Me mis me mis me mis".

"Ok Johnny, what do you have to share with the class today?"

Little Johnny then says, "Well on my way to school today I shoved a cracker up a frog's arse." The teacher interrupts and says, "It's not arse Johnny, It's rectum."

Johnny then says, "Fucking oath it wrecked 'im."

Me: Hi, my name is...

Bro: Hey guys! So who are you?

Me: Hey, stop dude!

Bro: How is it going, bro--

Me: SHUT UP!

Bro: Is that a gun?

Me: *Pointing at bro*

Bro: Dude, I'm...

Me: *BANG* *BANG*

Me: Finally, it's over.

My sister told me words don't hurt her, so I chucked a dictionary at her.

How many babies does it take to paint a wall? It depends on how many you throw.

A gay rapist saves a female rape victim, then rapes the rapist.

There's this smart way to sneak a calculator into school. I've heard of it. You take the calculator, put it in a gun magazine, put the magazine in the gun, and bring the gun to school!

Roses are red,

Violets are blue,

I saw your mom beat you.

I had a friend who got shot in the head.

Guess you could say he was...

Blown Away!