Violence jokes

Where do suicide bombers go?... Everywhere.

A pun walked into a room and killed ten people.

Pun in, ten dead.

What's the difference between a terrorist base and an elementary school?

I don't know, I'm just the drone pilot.

One time, the quiet kid hacked the speakers in a school. Next thing you know, "Pumped Up Kicks" by Foster The People starts playing.

Today, my mom gave me a lecture on how to stay safe during school shootings. When my brother walked past, my mom asked me a question: "What do you think of going through kids' heads during a school shooting?" That's when my brother came back downstairs and said to me and my mom, "Bullets." We don't talk about this anymore.

When the school shooter is just about to leave your classroom, and you think you're in the clear, but the Down syndrome kid says, "Goodbye."

What does a perverted frog say? Rub it.

Why don't witches wear underwear? To get a better grip on their broom.

What do girls and rocks have in common? The flat ones get skipped.

What is red and goes 200 mph? A baby in a blender.

Me: Wanna play 9/11?

Friend: What's that?

Me: It's a game where I kick you in both legs and watch you fall.

Roses are red.

Violets are blue.

Once I'm done choking you,

You will be too.

Friends are like trees, they fall over if you hit them with an ax.

What do you say to a woman with two black eyes?

Nothing, you've told her twice.

Warning, this is dark.

How do you knock out 26 kids in one punch? Give 'em a Sandy Hook.

An apple a day keeps the doctor away... That is... if you throw it hard enough.

I ran over three disabled kids.

"Cripple kill."

Q: Do you know why black people have nightmares?

A: Because we shot the last one who had a dream.

How do you start a school shooting at a black school?

Call the cops.

We shouldn't joke about rape, because rape is no laughing matter...

Unless you're being raped by a clown.

How come when women decide to kill their unborn baby it's a "choice"? But when I decide to drive my car into a playground full of children it's called "murder."

A girl asked me to eat her out one time... so I put her in the oven.

"Wanna play the rape game?"

"No!!!!"

"That's the spirit!"