Violence jokes
How many cops does it take to change a lightbulb?
None, they all beat the room for being black.
What do you get when you have an annoying kid, a homicidal kid, and a suicidal kid in the same room? A happy ending.
What do JFK’s killer and a prostitute have in common?
“They both blow heads.”
In the average room, there are about 2,894,638 items that Chuck Norris can use to kill you, including the room itself.
How do you verify a rape claim? You make it true.
1 like = 1 more orphan I dropkick.
What's the difference between a hooker and a mosquito?
The mosquito stops sucking after you slap it.
What's a school shooter's favorite anime?
Assassination Classroom.
Due to the rising cost of ammunition, there will be no warning shots.
What is red and tan and spins for about 50 mph?
A baby in a blender.
Q. How many babies does it take to shingle a roof?
A. Depends how thin you slice them.
How do you circumcise a hillbilly? ... Kick his sister in the jaw.
Why are there a lot of whites in hockey?
It’s the only other job that involves beating something black other than being a cop.
How many cops does it take to change a lightbulb?
None, they just arrest the lightbulb for being broke and beat the room for being black.
Are you a school? Because I want to shoot a bunch of kids in you.
My therapist told me, "Time heals all wounds," so I stabbed him.
Now we wait.
You do 1 line, you're not a crackhead. You drink 1 beer, you're not an alcoholic. But I murder 1 person...
Some kids at school made fun of me for playing Halo. I gave them a halo.
My new girlfriend is a porn star. She would probably kill me if she found out.
Me at the Oscars when I see Jada Pinkett Smith, I said: "G.I. Jane 2, more like G.I. Jada 2, can't wait to see it."
So Will Smith is laughing and then suddenly, Will Smith walks up to me and punches me in the face.
Me: "Ow, oh, wow. Will Smith just smacked the shit out of me.” My nigga Smith goes: "KEEP MY WIFE'S NAME OUT OF YOUR FUCKING MOUTH!" Me: "Maybe you should focus on keeping her friends out of hers."