Violence jokes

What do you get when you have an annoying kid, a homicidal kid, and a suicidal kid in the same room? A happy ending.

So, my sister is a feminist. I asked her, "Do you want to hear a rape joke?" She said no. I still decided to force one down her throat anyway.

In the average room, there are about 2,894,638 items that Chuck Norris can use to kill you, including the room itself.

How many cops does it take to change a lightbulb?

None, they all beat the room for being black.

How do you verify a rape claim? You make it true.

Due to the rising cost of ammunition, there will be no warning shots.

What's the difference between a hooker and a mosquito?

The mosquito stops sucking after you slap it.

How do you circumcise a hillbilly? ... Kick his sister in the jaw.

Q. How many babies does it take to shingle a roof?

A. Depends how thin you slice them.

What's a school shooter's favorite anime?

Assassination Classroom.

My therapist told me, "Time heals all wounds," so I stabbed him.

Now we wait.

Are you a school? Because I want to shoot a bunch of kids in you.

How to kill a blind person.

Give them a gun and tell them it's a hairdryer.

How many cops does it take to change a lightbulb?

None, they just arrest the lightbulb for being broke and beat the room for being black.

1 like = 1 more orphan I dropkick.

Don't mistake my silence for weakness. No one plans a murder out loud.

The quiet kid starts playing "Pumped Up Kicks" in the parking lot before school.

What do JFK’s killer and a prostitute have in common?

“They both blow heads.”

I used to keep asking a woman if I can rape her until she got so annoyed and said, "Stop asking me."

My new girlfriend is a porn star. She would probably kill me if she found out.