Violence jokes

9 out of 10 people enjoy gang rape.

What do you get when you have an annoying kid, a homicidal kid, and a suicidal kid in the same room? A happy ending.

In the average room, there are about 2,894,638 items that Chuck Norris can use to kill you, including the room itself.

How many cops does it take to change a lightbulb?

None, they all beat the room for being black.

How do you verify a rape claim? You make it true.

What's a school shooter's favorite anime?

Assassination Classroom.

What do JFK’s killer and a prostitute have in common?

“They both blow heads.”

Due to the rising cost of ammunition, there will be no warning shots.

What's the difference between a hooker and a mosquito?

The mosquito stops sucking after you slap it.

How do you circumcise a hillbilly? ... Kick his sister in the jaw.

Q. How many babies does it take to shingle a roof?

A. Depends how thin you slice them.

So, I was in the woods the other day raping this woman when she screamed, 'Please! Think of my children!'

I thought, 'Ooo, you kinky bitch.'

How to kill a blind person.

Give them a gun and tell them it's a hairdryer.

Are you a school? Because I want to shoot a bunch of kids in you.

My therapist told me, "Time heals all wounds," so I stabbed him.

Now we wait.

I used to keep asking a woman if I can rape her until she got so annoyed and said, "Stop asking me."

How many cops does it take to change a lightbulb?

None, they just arrest the lightbulb for being broke and beat the room for being black.

1 like = 1 more orphan I dropkick.

Don't mistake my silence for weakness. No one plans a murder out loud.

The quiet kid starts playing "Pumped Up Kicks" in the parking lot before school.