Violence jokes

Me: Stops the quiet kid from getting bullied.

Him: Don't come to school tomorrow, trust me.

Me: "/"

How do you fit a hundred babies into a small bucket?

With a blender.

What does a wife and a boombox have in common?

They only work when you beat them.

Abortion is becoming more and more expensive these days. So visit Ammu-nation and pick up an Armsan RS-X1 tactical shotgun. It comes with a free box of ammo and a three year warranty. Buy now, pay later.

So, in "Revenge of the Sixth" when Anakin goes and kills the younglings, I thought to myself, "Hey, it’s just another day in an American school."

I was raped by mimes once. They did unspeakable things to me.

X is for X-treme shooting!

【┻┳══━一

I walked into a supermarket to get some ordinary clothes for the wife. Then I realized I was in a rape museum.

Why are clips 30 rounds? Because that's the average class size.

I gave a blind kid a gun and said it was a blow dryer.

Even people who are good for nothing can bring a smile to your face.

For instance, when you push them down the stairs.

OMG guys, I finally did it. I made a head slicey boy. I have headless.

Jesus shows up and says you’ve got to go to church.

You follow him in, and under their breath, it sounds like somebody says, "You steal." You say in your mind, knowing you have before, "I’m sorry." Then somebody coughs, and under their breath, it sounds like they say again, "You steal," so you whisper quietly, "I’m sorry."

...then somebody in German says, "Schieß den Hurensohn!"

What are Eric and Dylan known for at Columbine High School?

They pulled the greatest senior prank in all of history.

Why was the American kid late to school?

Because he was too busy putting on his bulletproof vest.

What is the best revenge for getting punished at school?

Go shoot up the school.

What is the best thing about being back?

Free bullets.

I kicked a ball at the kid in the wheelchair, and now we're playing Rocket League.

What's the difference between PMS and a terrorist?

You can negotiate with the terrorist.

My friend said she wanted to fly, so I pushed her off a building.