Violence jokes
What do parents feeding their kids and terrorists have in common?
“Here comes the airplane!”
My older sister said she was gonna shoot herself, so I did it for her.
What do you call a paralyzed kid with a gun?
Special Forces.
Dammit, I hanged off their nose off.
OMG guys, I finally did it. I made a head slicey boy. I have headless.
I gave a blind kid a gun and told him it was a hairdryer.
I saw some kids bullying a kid in a wheelchair. I grabbed the kid, pushed him down the stairs, and said, "GTA physics."
I punched my mom for no freaking reason.
What is a terrorist's first move in chess?
C4.
My ex misses me, good thing she'll never hit me.
It looks like your face was lit on fire and someone tried to extinguish it with a hammer!
What's the best part about beating up an orphan?
They can't tell their parents.
I feel bad for the kids at Sandy Hook. All they wanted was books, but got magazines instead.
What has 4 legs and 1 arm?
A pitbull in a children's play area.
There once was a man who beat his wife, And before he even knew it, he ended her life. His hands were a mess, all red and bloody, He had to find somewhere to hide the body.
"Um, honey, I'm glad you're done, but um, WHO KICKED OUR BABY'S ASS?! I'M PRETTY SURE FACES DON'T BEND THAT WAY!!"
Me and my wife love playing table tennis. I couldn’t win all day, but when it got dark, I managed to beat her. I don’t know how the police found out so quickly.
I was at my boyfriend's house, and I thought he was cheating on me. He was on the phone with somebody, and he said he'd be over there soon. So I asked him if I could see his phone. He said no, and then we fought about it until I saw his gun, and because I thought he was lying to me, I shot him, went through his phone, and his friend was still on the phone.
I tell a man, "Get me a Glock 19." He comes back with a glove. I was about to shout at him, but then I saw a pistol in his pocket, so I left and thanked him.
When the school shooter starts doing Fortnite dances and the autistic kid joins in.