Violence jokes
Abortion is becoming more and more expensive these days. So visit Ammu-nation and pick up an Armsan RS-X1 tactical shotgun. It comes with a free box of ammo and a three year warranty. Buy now, pay later.
What do you call a dead woman in the back of your car?
Idk, I just have a couple in the backseat.
How many babies does it take to paint a wall?
Depends on how hard you throw it.
Why is black mystery not an Airheads flavor? Because we already know what happened to them. *shot fires*
Q. What's a bulimic's favorite movie?
A. The Purge.
I hit a ball with a bat, it was called animal abuse.
Why is rape worse than death?
Because dead people get way more attention.
You just shot an unarmed man.
Well, he should have armed himself then.
Hello, anybody, I've just shot somebody. I did it on purpose.
Look, an orphan, let's go beat 'em up.
Q: What's worse than f**king a 2 year old?
A: Wiping the blood off of your clown suit afterwards.
Why are there a lot of whites in hockey?
It’s the only other job that involves beating something black other than being a cop.
Me: I saw an emo kid that got a haircut today. But instead of saying “Like ya cut g” and slapping the neck, I slapped the wrist and said “Like ya cut’s g.”
Emo kid: He said like your bullet holes, G.
Me: I have no bullet holes.
Emo kid: Not yet, you don't.
Me: Ayo what the fuc*.
I was raped by mimes once. They did unspeakable things to me.
There's going to be a party at the orphanage tonight. I'm bringing a gun.
What do blind kids and orphans have in common? I fucking hate their whiny asses and beat them up.
Why did I beat up the orphan? Because he was a whiny bitch who wouldn't shut the fuck up.
Me: Hey, do you want to see my grandma?
Friend: Yeah, sure.
Me: *pulls out gun*
Why do black men have nightmares?
Because the only one that had a dream got shot.
You walk into a room, and there’s a lot of people waiting in line to punch you... Yeah, that’s the punchline.