Where did Lucy go during the bombing?
Everywhere.
Violence Jokes
How long does it take for 5 babies to die in the microwave?
I don't know, I can't count while I masturbate...
Why did the clown stop smiling?
Someone chopped his lips off.
If I called you gay, you would probably hit me with your purse.
What's the only time you can do almost whatever you want?
When you have a gun in your hand.
Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.
Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sally.
What first went through Sally's head when the Nazis came? A bullet.
Where did Sally go when the bomb exploded? Everywhere.
What did Sally get for Christmas? A bike.
Kill yourself, hoes!
How many babies does it take to paint a wall?
Depends on how hard you throw them.
My favorite sex position is the JFK. I splatter all over her while she screams and tries to get out of the car.
What's worse than five babies stapled to one tree?
One baby stapled to five trees.
Don't break someone's heart because they only have one; instead, break their bones... they have 206.
How do you stop a baby from crying?
Throw a brick in its mouth.
What is the difference between a whore and an onion?
You don't cry when you chop a whore.
What do you call a kid with no friends?
A Sandy Hook survivor.
What sound does a baby make when you put it in a blender? I don’t know. I was too busy wanking.
Knott and Shott got into a gunfight. Knott was shot and Shott was not. Therefore, it was better to be Shott than Knott. But what if the shot Shott shot didn't hit Knott but Shott? Then the shot Shott shot shot Shott.
When the school shooter kills the teacher and the autistic kid declares communism
People are like trees...
They fall down when you hit them multiple times with an axe.
There are some sounds that everyone loves... - Shoes on gravel. - Crackling of fire. - The snapping necks of those who think they can disrespect you. - Cats purring.
How many times does 43 go into 8?
Get in the van and find out.
