Violence jokes

I talked to a future suicide bomber. I told him, "ISIS ain't got sh** on me because I planted a bomb and lived."

A sad guy called "nun" is crying next to the grave of his best friend called "month". "Month" got killed by a gay guy, and after that, "nun" got homophobic.

While "nun" is sitting next to "month"'s grave, he heard a guy ask his friend: 《Do You Wanna Play A Game On?》 "Nun" got angry and he asked that guy: 《What did you just say to your friend?》 The guy answers: 《A game on, why?》

"Nun" kills the two guys.

🤔

My new girlfriend is a porn star. She would probably kill me if she found out.

I say 1, 2, 3, all the kids bullied me, but now they're not so cool, cuz I shot up the school.

How many babies does it take to paint a wall?

One, if you throw it hard enough.

How do you make a pink Smurf?

You peel the skin off.

My girlfriend said, "GIMME EIGHT INCHES AND MAKE IT HURT!"

So I pumped my dick in her 4 times and hit her in the head with a brick.

The weirdest thing happened yesterday. My dad came back from work... He’s a suicide bomber.

I went to school and everyone was screaming and looking at me. They weren't after I shot them, though.

Don't you just want to go on a mass murder while listening to goodbye Moonman? Oh, just me... OK.

I was hit on by President Kennedy, too bad I shot him down.

A rapist walks into a school and asks if they had 5 year olds in the school, and the teacher replies, "Are you that same person who took Jimmy?"

The man replies, "Yes," and the teacher says, "Take Susie too; she's being a little bitch."

What's the difference between Chris Brown and Santa?

Santa stops at 3 hoes.

How do you start a rave?

Throw a flashbang into the epileptic ward of a hospital.

Random person: Imma smack you so hard your skin pigment changes!

Me: Who the hell do you think you are? Michael Jackson’s dad?

I was gonna tell you a joke about my abusive dad...

But I only remember the punch line👊👊👊👊👊👊👊👊👊

Someone at school judged my grammar.

I judged theirs by the terms "school" and "rifle range" being mixed up the next day.

A husband got a message from his neighbor one day. It read, "Hey, I'm sorry I had to tell you like this but I have been doing your wife for months now." The husband went to go grab his gun and shot his wife. He hid the evidence and a few hours later he got another message from his neighbor saying, "Sorry, meant using your wifi."

I hit my friend.

He's dead now.

What do you get when you throw a baby into the wheat thresher?

An erection.