Violence jokes
Eric's mom asked her son why his bag was heavy and if it was because of books. Eric replied, "No, magazines."
What's a school shooter's favorite flower?
Columbine.
Friend 1: I don't want to jump.
Friend 2: Me neither.
Murderer: If you don't jump, I'll stab you.
Friend 1: *jumps*
Friend 2: *jumps*
Murderer: I didn't mean off the building!
Friend 1: I know that. I just pretended to jump to get rid of that guy.
What's the difference between a feminist and Hitler?
Both were good at starting wars, only difference was Hitler knew when to kill himself afterwards.
So I went to the bank and a lady asked me to check her balance... so I pushed her over.
Roses are red, I reload fast...
I'm gonna pull up to your school, bitch you better run fast!
When you're the only one nice to the quiet kid.
Kid: "I like you... don't go to school tomorrow."
If you're ever bored, just punch an orphan because what are they gonna do? Tell their parents?
Mom: You can't die in the living room, David, so you can stop stabbing and shooting yourself.
David: I will surpass Kakarot!
Jordan: *dead on the living room floor*
How many fingers am I holding up?
Said the suicide bomber, referring to the countdown.
If you're ever bored, beat up an orphan, what are they gonna do? Tell their parents?
*World War 2 going on and then stops.*
Me: "I guess you would say it was a gory-ious battle."
I was in social studies class and I was taking an exam and I couldn’t remember a lot of the information and everyone looked up shocked. A white kid holding a gun said, “You’re about to become history.” I almost forgot that we weren’t supposed to have any lessons that day.
A lady runs into a police station and yells, "Help, help! I've been graped!"
A police officer says, "Do you mean raped?"
The girl then replies, "No, there was a bunch of 'em!"
My friend loves playing Roulette, so I figured I would introduce him to Russian Roulette. Blew his mind.
What is white, black, and red and can't fit through a revolving door?
A nun with a spear through her head!
What has more brains than a student in a school shooting? The wall behind them.
I slit my wrists.
What's strong enough for a man but made for a woman?
The back of my hand.
I would slap you, but that would be animal abuse.