Violence jokes
What’s red and goes 100 miles per hour?
Babies in a blender.
What was going through the student's heads during a school shooting?
Bullets.
My dad came over late at night. He was drunk. He started telling me how useless I was. Then I went to the kitchen, grabbed a knife, and stabbed him in the chest 47 times.
Three minutes later, he died. Now I’m losing my mind and cutting myself.
Teacher: "I'm sorry, but you got a 74 on the test."
Quiet Kid: "I'll show you my own 74."
Classroom: *visible panic*
Teacher: What month is it?
Quiet kid: AUG-ust.
Classroom: Visible concern.
Some kids at school made fun of me for playing Halo, so I gave them a halo.
joe: Are your mom and dad nice?
zozo: Well, they were until I murdered them over a bottle of Pringles.
joe: Oh, so you are an orphan and a murderer.
*The doctor asking why I've broken 19 bones in the past week*
*My abusive mum- Go on, tell him!*
Well what am I gonna do now...
When you decide to turn your high school into your personal shooting range, but you don’t give any proper notice except for a bullet to the head...
If you ever get mad, just hit an orphan.
What are they gonna do, tell their parents?
Sally has no arms. She fell off the swing. Why? Someone threw a fridge at her. AAHAHAAAHHAHAH!
How many babies does it take to paint a wall?
How hard can you throw them!
How do you get ten babies in a bucket?
With a blender.
There's a new cooking programme on BBC1. The contestants are victims of domestic violence. It's called "Can't Cook... Right Hook."
Why did Tyrone drop his ice cream cone?
A: He got shot.
Why did the guy run because the girl ripped his penis off?
What's black, white, and red all over?
Lossvagus school shooting.
Me: Wanna play 9/11?
Friend: What's that?
Me: It's a game where I kick you in both legs and watch you fall.
My brothers kept annoying me.
I told them I would disembowel them if they kept it up.
It was an empty threat—right after I was done.
Oh my god, she hit me with a bat,
'Cause she was transgender.