Violence jokes
What's the difference between a pizza and a guy you really hate?
One won't scream when you remove their meat.
Your Mom tells you to take out the trash, and the next day the Police are asking if you bombed the School.
Rape jokes aren’t funny. People like me that are actually victims of rape are triggered by them.
How do you get a baby to stop crying?
Simple... you staple its mouth shut.
Today, I learned that a group of piranhas can maul a small child down to the bone in under 20 seconds. Well, I lost my job at the aquarium today.
How many babies does it take to paint a barn?
Depends on how hard you throw them.
Cops go to the hood when the shooting range is closed.
Cut.
What's red all over and spins at 100 mps?
Baby in a blender.
How do you get a nun pregnant?
Fuck 'em.
What 3 words started Jeffery Dahmer's cannibalism?
"This isn't ketchup."
What’s the best way to get a baby out of a blender? Tortilla Chips.
What does a bullied kid say during a game of Kahoot?
"I'd like to Kahoot up this school."
True Story of Little Red Riding Hood.
The big bad wolf told Red Riding Hood to strip. He looked at her pussy and said, "Now I will fuck you!"
Red pulled out a shotgun from under her coat and said, "Oh no you're not. You're not, you're going to eat me just like it says in the book!"
You are walking through the woods when you cross a woman who has been raped and beheaded. What is the first thing you do?
Check your map, you’re obviously going in circles.
Q: What’s the hardest thing about fucking a dude with a dildo?
A: Making sure he doesn’t wake up.
What do Catholic priests and school shooters have in common?
They both like to dump their loads into little kids.
If you throw a nun, is it called a... Nunchuck???
If you ever get mad, just punch an orphan. What are they supposed to do? Tell their parents?
What is 1 + 1?
They didn’t tell me. Their stomach is upset.