Violence jokes

What's the difference between a feminist and Hitler?

Both were good at starting wars, only difference was Hitler knew when to kill himself afterwards.

So I went to the bank and a lady asked me to check her balance... so I pushed her over.

Roses are red, I reload fast...

I'm gonna pull up to your school, bitch you better run fast!

When you're the only one nice to the quiet kid.

Kid: "I like you... don't go to school tomorrow."

If you're ever bored, just punch an orphan because what are they gonna do? Tell their parents?

Mom: You can't die in the living room, David, so you can stop stabbing and shooting yourself.

David: I will surpass Kakarot!

Jordan: *dead on the living room floor*

How many fingers am I holding up?

Said the suicide bomber, referring to the countdown.

If you're ever bored, beat up an orphan, what are they gonna do? Tell their parents?

*World War 2 going on and then stops.*

Me: "I guess you would say it was a gory-ious battle."

I was in social studies class and I was taking an exam and I couldn’t remember a lot of the information and everyone looked up shocked. A white kid holding a gun said, “You’re about to become history.” I almost forgot that we weren’t supposed to have any lessons that day.

A lady runs into a police station and yells, "Help, help! I've been graped!"

A police officer says, "Do you mean raped?"

The girl then replies, "No, there was a bunch of 'em!"

My friend loves playing Roulette, so I figured I would introduce him to Russian Roulette. Blew his mind.

What is white, black, and red and can't fit through a revolving door?

A nun with a spear through her head!

What has more brains than a student in a school shooting? The wall behind them.

I slit my wrists.

What's strong enough for a man but made for a woman?

The back of my hand.

I would slap you, but that would be animal abuse.

Ryan: Mother, if you had 10 cookies, and I took 4 away from you, how much do you have?

Mother: I will still have ten cookies, because I will not give any to you.

Ryan: What if I forcefully take 4 cookies away from you?

Mother: I will have 10 cookies and a dead body.

Ryan and his mother had cookies that day. Ryan took all 10 cookies. He was never seen again. R.I.P Ryan.

What do you do when you finish a magazine at a hospital?

Reload and keep shooting.

Once, there was a man that was coming to my house and peeing in my yard. Then the man came back to my house and flopped his penis everywhere and peed at the same time, and it went all over my face.

So the next day, he came back, and I got my BB gun and shot a metal BB into his peepee.

This didn't actually happen.