Violence jokes
I slit my wrists.
What's strong enough for a man but made for a woman?
The back of my hand.
I would slap you, but that would be animal abuse.
Ryan: Mother, if you had 10 cookies, and I took 4 away from you, how much do you have?
Mother: I will still have ten cookies, because I will not give any to you.
Ryan: What if I forcefully take 4 cookies away from you?
Mother: I will have 10 cookies and a dead body.
Ryan and his mother had cookies that day. Ryan took all 10 cookies. He was never seen again. R.I.P Ryan.
What do you do when you finish a magazine at a hospital?
Reload and keep shooting.
Once, there was a man that was coming to my house and peeing in my yard. Then the man came back to my house and flopped his penis everywhere and peed at the same time, and it went all over my face.
So the next day, he came back, and I got my BB gun and shot a metal BB into his peepee.
This didn't actually happen.
Want to know why parents don't get school shooting jokes?
Because they are aimed at a younger audience.
What is the difference between a rapist and a dictionary?
One of them knows the definition of no.
Why was the kid not able to cross the hallway?
Answer: The school shooter already shot him in the middle of the hallway.
Sadly, blind jokes are cruel. A kid at my school was punched the other day for being blind.
Sadly, he didn't see it coming.
How many babies does it take to paint a wall?
I don't know, it depends on how hard you throw them.
A penis has a bad life. His neighbor is an asshole, his friend is a pussy, and his owner beats him.
What’s an abbreviation for school in America?
Shooting range.
Jokes just as dead as the victims.
What’s red and goes 100 miles per hour?
Babies in a blender.
What was going through the student's heads during a school shooting?
Bullets.
My dad came over late at night. He was drunk. He started telling me how useless I was. Then I went to the kitchen, grabbed a knife, and stabbed him in the chest 47 times.
Three minutes later, he died. Now I’m losing my mind and cutting myself.
Teacher: "I'm sorry, but you got a 74 on the test."
Quiet Kid: "I'll show you my own 74."
Classroom: *visible panic*
Teacher: What month is it?
Quiet kid: AUG-ust.
Classroom: Visible concern.
Some kids at school made fun of me for playing Halo, so I gave them a halo.
joe: Are your mom and dad nice?
zozo: Well, they were until I murdered them over a bottle of Pringles.
joe: Oh, so you are an orphan and a murderer.