Violence jokes
Why did the serial killer cross the road? To get to the victim's house.
Knock, knock. Who's there? The serial killer.
How many babies does it take to paint a wall?
Depends how hard you throw them.
I was walking down the street one day, and I passed the gun store. I walked in, and everything was half off. I didn’t know back-to-school sales had started already!
What do you call a fat girl with a rape alarm?
Optimistic.
What's the difference between genocide and mass murder?
Genocide is racist.
So two dudes were at a bar and out of nowhere they hear, "Oi mate, talk to me like that again, I'm gonna shove this stick so far up your ass you'll look like a Popsicle."
It’s all fun and games at “take your kid to work day” until you realize your dad is a suicide bomber.
How many babies does it take to paint a wall? It depends on how hard you throw them.
What's so great about dead baby jokes? They never get old.
When the speedbump in a school zone screams, so you go faster.
If I were to cut your legs off, would it hurt? Because your legs will be cut off...
Billy and Bobby were walking to school one day. Billy pulled out an mp3 player.
"What's that?" Bobby inquired.
"Oh, just something to zone out the other kids," Billy responded.
The next day, Billy and Bobby were walking to school. Billy rummaged through his backpack and pulled out an mp4 player this time.
"Woah! What's that?" Bobby inquired.
"Oh, just a lil something to shut out the annoying kids at school," Billy responded.
The next day, Bobby noticed Billy's backpack was particularly heavy looking. Billy rummaged through his backpack just outside the school and pulled out an mp5 rifle.
"Holy shit, dude! What the fuck is that for?" Bobby gasped.
"Nice huh? This'll shut those fuckers up for good!" Billy replied.
What's the difference between a pile of dead bodies and a computer?
I don't know, I have both!
Studies have shown that in London, a person is stabbed 24 times a second. Poor bastard!
What do you call an autistic kid with a gun? Special Forces.
My wife told me to pass her some chapstick, but then I realized she hasn’t talked to me in a month, then remembering I gave her super glue.........ehh I’m done with her big ass mouth.
My last 15 minutes as a 23 y/o!!
It's not my birthday, but a scary-looking man with a crowbar just broke into my house.
This kid lost Kahoot, so he shot up the school.
Mother got shot, damn.
Father got shot, damn.
Sister got shot, damn.
Brother got shot, damn.
Auntie running away with a shotgun!
What's the difference between a white kid and a computer?
The child has no trouble shooting.
People say killing two birds with one stone is a good thing, but when I did it, people just looked horrified.