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Violence

Violence jokes

What is worse than a baby getting hanged in a tree?

That same baby getting hanged in multiple trees.

How do you tell the difference between a Palestinian elementary school and a terrorist training camp?

Answer... I don't know, I just fly the drone.

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    • Two boys were playing cards on a picnic table outside the school. Both of the boys had revolvers hidden in their waistband.

    Now, one of the boys was a notorious cheater, who liked to hide his cards in his waistband. Recess was just about to end, when all the kids heard a loud bang erupt from the picnic table. In tears, the card player admitted that he had shot the other card player, stating "I played a King, and he started reaching for his waistband!"

    Why did the serial killer cross the road? To get to the victim's house.

    Knock, knock. Who's there? The serial killer.

    How many babies does it take to paint a wall?

    Depends how hard you throw them.

    I was walking down the street one day, and I passed the gun store. I walked in, and everything was half off. I didn’t know back-to-school sales had started already!

    So two dudes were at a bar and out of nowhere they hear, "Oi mate, talk to me like that again, I'm gonna shove this stick so far up your ass you'll look like a Popsicle."

    It’s all fun and games at “take your kid to work day” until you realize your dad is a suicide bomber.

    How many babies does it take to paint a wall? It depends on how hard you throw them.

    What's so great about dead baby jokes? They never get old.

    If I were to cut your legs off, would it hurt? Because your legs will be cut off...

    Billy and Bobby were walking to school one day. Billy pulled out an mp3 player.

    "What's that?" Bobby inquired.

    "Oh, just something to zone out the other kids," Billy responded.

    The next day, Billy and Bobby were walking to school. Billy rummaged through his backpack and pulled out an mp4 player this time.

    "Woah! What's that?" Bobby inquired.

    "Oh, just a lil something to shut out the annoying kids at school," Billy responded.

    The next day, Bobby noticed Billy's backpack was particularly heavy looking. Billy rummaged through his backpack just outside the school and pulled out an mp5 rifle.

    "Holy shit, dude! What the fuck is that for?" Bobby gasped.

    "Nice huh? This'll shut those fuckers up for good!" Billy replied.

    What's the difference between a pile of dead bodies and a computer?

    I don't know, I have both!

    Studies have shown that in London, a person is stabbed 24 times a second. Poor bastard!