Violence jokes

Robber 1: *gets shot in ass*

Robber 2: You have to shit in a bag for life lol.

Robber 1: What, the Tesco or Asda one?

My little cousin's birthday was in a few days, and his mom said he wanted Hot Wheels. So I sent him a video of me pushing a paralyzed kid into fire and screaming "HOT WHEELS!"

I’d make a rape joke, but I don't wanna force that on you too.

If you're ever bored, punch an orphan. What are they going to do, tell their parents?

When the school shooter is about to leave the room, then the autistic kid says, "Goodbye!"

When you’re playing dead and the school shooter starts unbuckling his belt and you hear him say, “This boy always had a fat ass.”

What are the best shooting ranges in America?

Schools.

In case there's a school shooting, the teachers can help out and shoot the kids.

I was gonna go to a shooting gallery, but I realized that schools aren't open on Sundays.

When the school shooter is getting roasted because of his Pokemon lunch box, but they don't know that there is a Glock 34 inside.

I like you, you like me.

Let’s go out and kill Barney with a big shot gun. Barney’s on the floor, no more purple dinosaur. 🌸🌸🌸🌺🌺🌺🥀🥀🥀RIP BARNEY

Mary had a little lamb. Chick, chick, bam! No more lamb.

Why don’t you peel a banana?

It’s too hard to kill your nana.

When the school shooter throws a smoke grenade into the classroom, and the autistic kid thinks it's a disco party. 🕺🕺🕺

How do you fit a baby into a shoebox?

A blender.

How do you get them out?

Tortilla chips.

A man walks into a bar with a 44. Magnum and yells, "Who the fuck fucked my wife?" The bartender answers, "Mate, you ain't got enough bullets."

When the school shooter kills five people, and the autistic kid yells, "Heroes never die!"

I took my girlfriend out the other day... Man, do I love being a sniper.

It's only okay to beat up a dwarf when they walk up to your wife and say, "Your hair smells nice."

If you’re ever bored, punch an orphan. What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?