Vehicle jokes
What did the turtle do when he ran out of gas?
He went to the Shell station.
What do you call a magic car?
A human.
All trucks are monster trucks if you’re afraid of trucks.
When is a car not a car? When it turns into a driveway. 🥁
Why did the boy get run over?
Sally was driving.
How many astronauts can you fit into a VW Bug? 11, 4 in the seats, seven in the ashtray.
My daughter said I could never make a car out of spaghetti. You should have seen the look on her face when I drove pasta!
Robin: "The car's not working."
Batman: "Did you check the battery?"
Robin: "What's a tery?"
A policeman walks up to a van with two priests and says, "We're looking for two child molesters."
The priests both look at each other for a moment and then say, "Okay, we'll do it."
How many times does 42 go into 9?
Get in the van to find out.
How do you get 100 babies in the back of a pick up truck? Blender.
How do you get them back out? Straw.
What did one traffic light say to the other?
"Stop looking, I am changing."
Little Johnny catches his parents going at it and says, "Hey dad! Whatcha doin'?"
His father says, "I'm filling your mom's tank."
Johnny says, "Oh yeah, well, you better get a model that gets better mileage because the milk man filled her up this morning."
There are two Mexicans in a car. Who's driving?
A cop.
Do your buses run on time?
No, they run on diesel.
What's worse than locking your keys in the car in front of an abortion clinic?
Having to go back inside and ask to borrow a hanger.
How many orphans does it take to "test drive" a bus? It depends on how much space the orphanage has and how much space the cemetery has.
What's the difference between a Lambo and a boner?
Your sister didn't give me a Lambo.
What is the difference between a truck full of bowling balls and a truck full of babies?
You can't unload a truck full of bowling balls with a pitchfork.
My girlfriend tried to make me have sex on the hood of her Honda Civic. But if I'm going to have sex, it's going to be on my own Accord.