Vehicle jokes
My grandpa lost his toe today. 😔
Nvm, we found it. It's in his TOEtruck.
What's the difference between a Lambo and 100 dead babies?
I don't have a Lambo in my garage.
Why did the bike fall over?
It was too tired.
What's the difference between a red Ferrari and a pile of dead babies?
I don't have a red Ferrari in my car.
Why are supercars so super? Because it is superfast, lol.
What's yellow and can't swim? A bus full of kids.
What is the difference between a human being in the car?
Little Johnny catches his parents going at it and says, "Hey dad! Whatcha doin'?"
His father says, "I'm filling your mom's tank."
Johnny says, "Oh yeah, well, you better get a model that gets better mileage because the milk man filled her up this morning."
Why can't fat kids change a tire?
They would eat the donut.
What did Columbus use to cross the ocean?
He used a bus.
What do you call a kid in a wheelchair that you push in a fire? Hot Wheels.
Hey, did you know Paul Walker's gay?
Why do you say that?
Because he likes to wrap himself around long, old wood.
"I’m going through a lot of things right now," I said frustratedly to the person on the line as I crashed straight through the next building in my car.
A Russian wife turned to her husband and asked...
"What's this special military operation our glorious leader keeps talking about?"
Her husband replied, "It's a proxy war between Russia and NATO."
"Oh, right. How's it going?"
"Well," he replied, "so far we've lost 200,000 soldiers, 4,000 tanks, 500 aircraft, numerous helicopters, loads of armoured vehicles and artillery pieces along with our 'flag ship'."
"Wow! What about NATO?"
"They haven't turned up yet."
What’s the difference between a pile of babies and a Tesla?
I don’t have a Tesla in my garage.
What do you call a Mexican without a car?
Carlos.
What do you call Stephen Hawking's toes on fire?
Hot Wheels.
Your hairline looks like a car!
What's the difference between a cop car and a hedgehog?
With a cop car, all the pricks are on the inside.
What's the difference between a school bus and a cactus?
On a school bus, the pricks are on the inside.