Kill yourself in anyway. I'm doing it the HIGHway.
Your mum is so fat, when I was driving I had to swerve to avoid [her]. By the time I had finished, I had ran out of gas.
A person with a wheelchair and a football, then they are Rocket League.
If blind people could play go-kart, it very quickly turns into bumper cars.
How does a train eat?
"Chew chew!"
My dad seen RuPaul's Drag Race?
Asked when will they do up the cars!
What kind of shells do tanks use to cheat?
A-cheat shells.
Why should you never throw grandpa's false teeth at a vehicle? You might denture car.
A blonde starts a new job at a local car dealership when a wealthy gentleman comes in looking for a spacious car for his large family. The blonde is excited as she gets commission, so eagerly shows him the most expensive SUVs.
The gentleman has a good look around before saying to the blonde, "It looks perfect.... But cargo space?" To which she instantly replied, "Oh, I'm sorry, sir, car only for road."
So a guy gets a motorcycle with authentic leather seats, and the dealer tells him, "Dude, the rain will ruin the seats. Get it under something if it starts raining, and worst-case scenario, put Vaseline all over the seats to make it waterproof." So he goes to his girlfriend's house that night for dinner, and before he goes inside, she says, "Listen, this is your first time meeting my parents. We have a rule: the first one to speak has to do the dishes." So he walks inside and sees a mountain of dishes, over three months' worth, because no one has spoken, and the stench is awful.
During dinner, he concocted a plan to get someone to speak, so he started doing all of this crazy shit to try and get someone to speak. Not a peep. Eventually, he grabs his girlfriend, bends her over, and starts going to town. Still nothing. The parents are outraged but not speaking because they don't want to do the dishes. After about a minute of this, he walks away and does the same to her mum and starts going to town. Now the dad is pissed and just staring him down with daggers. At that moment, it starts to rain. He remembers his motorcycle is out in the rain, and he grabs the Vaseline out of his pack pocket, and the dad goes, "FINE! I'LL DO THE DISHES!"
What is better for bus drivers? A. Magic school bus 🚌
What has four wheels and flies?
A garbage truck.
A man's daughter comes home from school and asks her dad if she can borrow the car.
The father replies, "No, it's too late at night."
The daughter says, "C'mon, Dad. I'll do anything."
The dad says, "OK, suck my dick."
The daughter says, "No, that's disgusting."
The dad says, "You want the car. You said you'll do anything."
The daughter agrees. Just as she is about to put her father's dick into her mouth, she stops and says, "Eww, Dad, your dick smells like shit."
The dad replies, "Yeah, well, your brother borrowed the car about an hour ago."
What is big and fun and yellow? A school bus 🚌
My dog was hungry, so I let him loose outside while I filled his bowl.
I found out later that he was run over by a truck. It seemed to really hit the Spot.
What has 4 wheels and can fly? A garbage truck.
i was listening to wap in my car with my four year old cousin and she asked why they dont fix the holes in the house then my fucking boyfriend what a hoe was and pointed to me i pushed him out of the car and my other boyfriend took the front seat
Where do leg amputees go to buy a car?
IHOP
What is the skeleton's favorite car?
A Zam-bone-y.
What’s the difference between a Ferrari and a sack of dead babies?
I don’t have a Ferrari in my garage.
