Vehicle jokes
Q: Why don't cars work after you change their wheels?
A: Because they're retired!
What is the difference between a nicely dressed man on a tricycle and a poorly dressed man on a bicycle?
A tire.
(A tire as in clothes and the tire? U get it? No? I'm lonely. Add me on Xbox: DECIMUS PAX)
Dad: Why did Jimmy fall off his bicycle?
Son: Why?
Dad: Because somebody threw a washing machine at him.
What's the difference between a sports car and a pile of dead babies?
I don't have a sports car in my garage.
What do you call a man who lost his car??
Carlos
What do you call a terrorist in a wheelchair?
An RC-XD.
Why did the bike fall over?
Because it was two tired.
I would name my dog "Five Miles" so I could say I walk five miles every day, but today I ran over Five Miles.
How many people can you fit in a car?
6 - 3 in the back, 2 in the front, and my nan in the ashtray.
How are a woman and a car alike? Put something in them and they'll both start.
Which is redder: a baby or a red car? It depends on how the baby was killed!
When the driver ran out of fuel, what kind of gasoline did he use? Grassoline.
I drove my new rainbow-colored car today. For some reason, it wouldn't go straight.
What's a dog's dream car? A Dachshund 240Z.
What do you call a flying bus?
An Airbus.
When two wheelchairs hit each other, is it a fender bender?
When is a car not a car?
When it's a house.
A chopper full of white people is also called a helicopter.
A chopper full of black people is called a hellacopter.
Why did the snail paint a big "S" on his car?
Because he wanted people to say look at that S-car go when he rolled by.
I want to die peacefully in my sleep like my grandfather, but not like the other passengers in the car with him.