Vehicle jokes
Two fish were in a tank. One turned to the other and asked: "Hey, how do you drive this thing?"
What's a kidnapper's favorite White Vans?
My bumper sticker says: "👋FORMER BABY ON BOARD."
My heart is like a plane.
It crashes every once in a while.
What's the difference between a Lambo and 100 dead babies?
I don't have a Lambo in my garage.
Cars are like bullets; you jump in front of one, and they solve all your problems.
What do you get if you cross hot wheels, hot legs? Hehe.
What do you call a Mexican without a car?
Carlos.
How do you get a million Pikachus in a bus?
You shove them on!
What's worse than locking your keys in the car in front of an abortion clinic?
Having to go back inside and ask to borrow a hanger.
What's the difference between my car and a school bus? A school bus takes them back home.
I'm not saying I hate you, but if you got hit by a bus, I'd be driving that bus.
I wanted to learn how to drive a stick shift, but I couldn't find a manual.
Roses are red, my name is Dan, I have a gun, GET IN THE VAN!
Boy: Crap, I hit a deer.
Girl: Awe... I guess it’s not so much of a dear.
Boy: ...
Boy: Get the hell out!
What is the difference between a nicely dressed man on a tricycle and a poorly dressed man on a bicycle?
A tire.
(A tire as in clothes and the tire? U get it? No? I'm lonely. Add me on Xbox: DECIMUS PAX)
What’s the difference between my ex and a unicycle?
A unicycle can only take one person at a time.
What do most 50-year-old men put inside their cars?
Children.
Why did Little Sally drop her ice cream? Because she got hit by a bus.
What's the difference between a sports car and a pile of dead babies?
I don't have a sports car in my garage.