Boy: Crap, I hit a deer.
Girl: Awe... I guess it’s not so much of a dear.
Boy: ...
Boy: Get the hell out!
Brother 2: We have these weird circles on the street! Government is tracking us!!!
Brother 1: They are just to sense cars so they can change lights. And it's the government.
Brother 2: Then why are there two in the left turn lane?
Brother 1: So one car isn't always going left and stopping the others.
Brother 2: Then why are they one car apart? Oh, to have three people going.
Brother 1: Correct. When I see one car on the first, I go on the second so my light changes.
Brother 2: You monster.
Brother 1: I wonder if they trigger by weight?
Brother 2: HA. Yo mama would trigger the sensor.
Brother 1: ARG. It's OUR MAMA you're disrespecting.
Mother (brother 1): What's going on boys? *looks in mirror* HOLY SH@& SHE IS PRETTY!
Brother 2: I think you should take your pills.
Brother 1: Found them.
*imaginary mother and brother fade away*
Thank you ELECTROBOOM for inspiring this joke/sh!t. Go subb to him.
Btw the (1) means it is just imaginary brother one acting like another brother.
Steven Hawking said god isn’t real and the Priest put a Boot on his tire 😂😂😂
Why can lesbians not drive cars?
They always strap the wrong thing on.
Why did the rapper take the bus to the studio?
Because their car ran out of RHYME.
I go beep like a Jeep.
Which is redder: a baby or a red car? It depends on how the baby was killed!
What did the bulldozer say to the house?
"I wanna bulldoze houses!"
My girlfriend said to me, "Dear, I think you have hit an animal, there's blood and dents all over the bonnet."
I said, "No, love, I'm not waiting for a Black Lives Matter rally."
What vehicle does a frog 🐸 drive?
The Beetle!
I’m going to be scared of diesel.
Roses are red, That's a tin can, You have no home, So get in the van!
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Maserati.
Maserati who?
Why don't you clean up this Maserati?
What do you call a sheep obsessed with cars? A Lambo.
What do you call a flying bus?
An Airbus.
Bus went vrrrrrrrm.
How to Make an Orphan cry
Step 1: Talk about Home.
Step 2: Ask them where their parents are.
Step 3: Say, "Bye Bye," and push them in the Batmobile!
A train walks into a bar. It says to the barkeeper, "I'll have a gallon of ale."
"A gallon?" the barkeeper asks.
"Yes," replies the train, "I always end up chugging it."
Why was there peanut butter in the middle of the road?
It went with the traffic jam.
What do a tank and a warship have in common?
They're overweight.
