Vehicle jokes
A police officer pulls a man over. "Hands in the air!"
The man said, "Okay."
What kind of car does Pikachu drive?
A Volts-wagon.
My grandpa lost his toe today. 😔
Nvm, we found it. It's in his TOEtruck.
Today was the worst day ever. My ex got hit by a truck... On the plus side, my truck doesn't even have a dent.
"I'm the big man, catching the kids in my big van." - Ben 2021
What's the difference between a school bus and a cactus?
On a school bus, the pricks are on the inside.
How many gears does a French tank have?
One forward and six reverse.
Dad: Why did Jimmy fall off his bicycle?
Son: Why?
Dad: Because somebody threw a washing machine at him.
Freshman: Hey, what's better, Ford or Chevy?
Senior: I don't f**kin' care as long as it drives.
Freshman: So, I'm guessing it's Chevy?
My car fell in a ditch today. Didn't want any more cars falling, so I put a car-pet over it.
"What bus?"
Q: Why did the baby cross the road?
A: It wasn't in its car seat.
What's a car's favorite place to hang out?
A CARnival!
What gets long when you put it, slides into holes, and likes to squeeze between boobs?
A seatbelt.
When does the slowest person go as fast as a train?
When he is on the train.
Yo mama so fat, they had to give her a license plate.
What's yellow and can't swim?
A bus full of toddlers.
Your mama so fat, when she put a leg in the car, the wheels deflated.
Yo mama is so slow, when she stepped on the highway they had to order a crane to come move her from starting traffic.
Friend: My bike doesn't have a kick stand, so it can't stand up.
Me: Nah, it's just two tired.