Vehicle jokes
Why were there only 3,000 Mexicans at the Battle of the Alamo?
'Cause they only had 4 trucks.
One time, I was working this steamroller when the guy who I squashed farted.
I guess that’s what you call “FLAT”ulence.
What do you call a terrorist in a wheelchair?
RCXD.
Yo mama so stupid, she tried to fill her car with Vin Diesel.
What's the slowest train in the world? A slow coach!
What’s the difference between a pile of babies and a Tesla?
I don’t have a Tesla in my garage.
Why does nobody know that an Octane is a Fennec in disguise?
They have the same hitbox.
I didn’t know how to fasten my seatbelt. Then it clicked.
Yo momma's so fat, when she gets in a monster truck, it turns into a lowrider.
What kind of truck does a Mexican drive?
F-Juan Fifty.
I called the suicide hotline in Afghanistan, and they got excited and asked if I could drive a B-52.
I was sitting in traffic the other day.
Probably why I got run over.
What do you call a wheelchair on fire?..
Hot Wheels.
How does a train sneeze?
It goes, "A-choo choo!"
What do you call a guy in a wheelchair on fire?
Hot wheels.
Cars are like bullets; you jump in front of one, and they solve all your problems.
Imagine a white van. Now imagine a white guy in the driver seat with a sombrero on and his arm out the window, and on the side of the van it says "Free Candy." But there's blood all over the van and a dead clown in the back.
What do you call a Mexican who lost their car?
Carlos.
A cop pulls me over and asks if I have been drinking.
I'm an honest person and say yes, I did, so I take off my sunglasses and tell him that I now had 2 glasses less.
Why did the kid cross the road?
Because he wasn't wearing his seat belt! 😂