I drove my new rainbow-colored car today. For some reason, it wouldn't go straight.
This was a few months ago. I used to help people load and unload inventory. One day I’m driving home after having lunch with my sister, and she asked if we can stop at the next gas station. I told her, "So you can weigh yourself on the truck scale?"
What's a rapper's favorite type of car?
A Rhyme Rover.
Why did the frog take the bus to work?
His car got toad.
What's a kidnapper's favorite shoe? White vans.
My last relationship ended because I didn’t open the car door for her. Instead, I just went to the top of the water.
When a "Baby on Board" sticker is a little faded and beat up, you know the kid is at least a year old, and the car is safe to ram.
"John FK, he think he special car no top, everyone see like he on parade. Me, I stay hidden, secret style, no bullets find me. Much smar smarter, no? Scret lifestyle safety."
Why is it wrong to drive around in a van offering children candy?
Because you’ll have more success if you give out video games!
Why did the telemarketer cross the road?
I don't know.
I don't know either, but I hope there was a car coming.
What do you call a terrorist in a wheelchair?
RCXD.
One time, I was working this steamroller when the guy who I squashed farted.
I guess that’s what you call “FLAT”ulence.
How did Helen Keller drive?
One hand on the wheel, one hand on the road.
I was sitting in traffic the other day.
Probably why I got run over.
Why were there only 3,000 Mexicans at the Battle of the Alamo?
'Cause they only had 4 trucks.
Yo mama so stupid, she tried to fill her car with Vin Diesel.
Imagine a white van. Now imagine a white guy in the driver seat with a sombrero on and his arm out the window, and on the side of the van it says "Free Candy." But there's blood all over the van and a dead clown in the back.
I saw your mother get into a white Ford Taurus on the corner of Milton and Halliburton, and you're still trying to tell me she ain't got no job cause she "can't get a ride to work?"
What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor?
"Where's my tractor!"
For a golfer, Tiger Woods isn't very good of a driver.
