Vehicle jokes
What’s yellow and can’t swim??
A school bus with elementary kids.
What’s the difference between a pile of babies and a Tesla?
I don’t have a Tesla in my garage.
Therapist: So what brought you here today?
Wife: He's too literal.
Therapist: And you, sir?
Husband: My truck.
What's the difference between a Corvette and a pile of dead babies?
I don't have a Corvette in my garage.
What car do elves drive?
Toy-yodas.
What did the orphan say to the other orphan?
"Get into the Batmobile, Robin."
A bus is a vehicle that runs twice as fast when you are after it as when you are in it.
My name is Dan, I wear white Vans, I have a gun, get in the van!
What is the last thing that goes through a fly's head when it hits the windshield?
Its butt.
So I gave a disabled kid hot wheels. I mean cars, no I gave him literal hot wheels!
How many hookers fit in a Cadillac?
About 4 in the trunk if you stack 'em right.
Mosely in a white van.
Kill yourself in anyway. I'm doing it the HIGHway.
What happens when a frog parks illegally?
It gets toad.
My girlfriend said to me, "Dear, I think you have hit an animal, there's blood and dents all over the bonnet."
I said, "No, love, I'm not waiting for a Black Lives Matter rally."
What's the difference between a school bus and my Dad's van?
School buses usually don't have screaming and crying children.
What do you call a sped kid in a wheelchair that caught on fire?
Hot Wheels.
I was driving when I saw a kid chasing after a ball, but I didn’t have enough time to slow down. Then I pulled over, and the dad yelled, "What the fuck did you do?" I looked into the street and saw the ball completely deflated and the kid crying, "Now I gotta hear him bitch and moan all day," he continues.
I went to the doctor because I had a steering wheel in my pants, and it was driving me nuts.
A man hits a woman with his car. Whose fault was it?
The man, why was he driving in the kitchen?