Vehicle jokes

For a golfer, Tiger Woods isn't very good of a driver.

My last relationship ended because I didn’t open the car door for her. Instead, I just went to the top of the water.

I saw your mother get into a white Ford Taurus on the corner of Milton and Halliburton, and you're still trying to tell me she ain't got no job cause she "can't get a ride to work?"

What do you call a wheelchair on fire?..

Hot Wheels.

How does a train sneeze?

It goes, "A-choo choo!"

What do you call a guy in a wheelchair on fire?

Hot wheels.

Cars are like bullets; you jump in front of one, and they solve all your problems.

I called the suicide hotline in Afghanistan, and they got excited and asked if I could drive a B-52.

What kind of truck does a Mexican drive?

F-Juan Fifty.

I didn’t know how to fasten my seatbelt. Then it clicked.

What game console do emergency vehicles play? Wii U!!!

Why does nobody know that an Octane is a Fennec in disguise?

They have the same hitbox.

What’s the difference between a pile of babies and a Tesla?

I don’t have a Tesla in my garage.

A cop pulls me over and asks if I have been drinking.

I'm an honest person and say yes, I did, so I take off my sunglasses and tell him that I now had 2 glasses less.

Yo momma's so fat, when she gets in a monster truck, it turns into a lowrider.

Why did the kid cross the road?

Because he wasn't wearing his seat belt! 😂

What do you call a Mexican who lost their car?

Carlos.

What's the slowest train in the world? A slow coach!

I wonder if Stephen Hawking was an organ donor, because I need new parts for my go-kart.

Why do the brakes keep squealing?

Because the driver hit it too hard.