Vehicle jokes
Imagine a white van. Now imagine a white guy in the driver seat with a sombrero on and his arm out the window, and on the side of the van it says "Free Candy." But there's blood all over the van and a dead clown in the back.
I was sitting in traffic the other day.
Probably why I got run over.
Why were there only 3,000 Mexicans at the Battle of the Alamo?
'Cause they only had 4 trucks.
"John FK, he think he special car no top, everyone see like he on parade. Me, I stay hidden, secret style, no bullets find me. Much smar smarter, no? Scret lifestyle safety."
One time, I was working this steamroller when the guy who I squashed farted.
I guess that’s what you call “FLAT”ulence.
How does a train sneeze?
It goes, "A-choo choo!"
I didn’t know how to fasten my seatbelt. Then it clicked.
I called the suicide hotline in Afghanistan, and they got excited and asked if I could drive a B-52.
Why did the kid cross the road?
Because he wasn't wearing his seat belt! 😂
What do you call a Mexican who lost their car?
Carlos.
A cop pulls me over and asks if I have been drinking.
I'm an honest person and say yes, I did, so I take off my sunglasses and tell him that I now had 2 glasses less.
Yo momma's so fat, when she gets in a monster truck, it turns into a lowrider.
What kind of truck does a Mexican drive?
F-Juan Fifty.
I saw your mother get into a white Ford Taurus on the corner of Milton and Halliburton, and you're still trying to tell me she ain't got no job cause she "can't get a ride to work?"
What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor?
"Where's my tractor!"
What do you get if you cross hot wheels, hot legs? Hehe.
What's the slowest train in the world? A slow coach!
Your hairline reminds me of a car taking a U-turn.
Roads be so rough in Oklahoma, I saw a high lifted truck get ended riding lower than a Hot Wheels car.
Why does nobody know that an Octane is a Fennec in disguise?
They have the same hitbox.