Vehicle jokes
I had a dream I was a muffler last night...
I woke up EXHAUSTED! 😂😃
Why are all fat people bad drivers?
They are all hungover.
Someone complimented me on my driving last week. They left a note saying, "Parking Fine!"
What do you get if you cross hot wheels, hot legs? Hehe.
What does a car have when it's very itchy?
A road rash.
What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor?
"Where's my tractor!"
One time, I was working this steamroller when the guy who I squashed farted.
I guess that’s what you call “FLAT”ulence.
I drove my new rainbow-colored car today. For some reason, it wouldn't go straight.
Why were there only 3,000 Mexicans at the Battle of the Alamo?
'Cause they only had 4 trucks.
I was sitting in traffic the other day.
Probably why I got run over.
Yo mama so stupid, she tried to fill her car with Vin Diesel.
How did Helen Keller drive?
One hand on the wheel, one hand on the road.
What do you call a guy in a wheelchair on fire?
Hot wheels.
Imagine a white van. Now imagine a white guy in the driver seat with a sombrero on and his arm out the window, and on the side of the van it says "Free Candy." But there's blood all over the van and a dead clown in the back.
What do you call a wheelchair on fire?..
Hot Wheels.
How does a train sneeze?
It goes, "A-choo choo!"
"John FK, he think he special car no top, everyone see like he on parade. Me, I stay hidden, secret style, no bullets find me. Much smar smarter, no? Scret lifestyle safety."
Why is it wrong to drive around in a van offering children candy?
Because you’ll have more success if you give out video games!
When a "Baby on Board" sticker is a little faded and beat up, you know the kid is at least a year old, and the car is safe to ram.
What's a kidnapper's favorite shoe? White vans.