Vehicle jokes
What is the last thing that goes through a fly's head when it hits the windshield?
Its butt.
What's the difference between a fish and a car?
You can tune a car... but you can't TUNA fish! x3
My name is Dan, I wear white Vans, I have a gun, get in the van!
I don’t have a carbon footprint. I just drive everywhere.
What kind of car does an Indian person drive? A Pri-yas.
A couple and their friends were riding their tricycle, and one wheel fell off. They discussed what to do, and finally the friend said, "Why don't you just use me?" The boyfriend said, "Why did I not think of using the third wheel?"
What's the difference between a school bus and my Dad's van?
School buses usually don't have screaming and crying children.
What time is it when you get home? Can you walk walk and a car and get home and get a walk home and get a dog 🐕? Today is the night I can drive.
Why did the bus cross the road?
What's the slowest train in the world? A slow coach!
What do you call a sped kid in a wheelchair that caught on fire?
Hot Wheels.
What's the difference between dead babies and a Ferrari?
I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.
Why are all fat people bad drivers?
They are all hungover.
I went to the doctor because I had a steering wheel in my pants, and it was driving me nuts.
I was driving when I saw a kid chasing after a ball, but I didn’t have enough time to slow down. Then I pulled over, and the dad yelled, "What the fuck did you do?" I looked into the street and saw the ball completely deflated and the kid crying, "Now I gotta hear him bitch and moan all day," he continues.
What's a terrorist's favorite car? A Porsche 9/11.
A pedo is driving down a highway really slowly and gets stopped by the police. The officer asks why he was driving so slowly. The man answers, "I don't wake up the kids."
What's the difference between me and a bus?
I'm not on fire...
What should we want?
Racecars.
When should we want them?
NEOWWWWWWWWWWWM!
Why did the Titanic cross the road?