There's a Mexican, Brazilian, and Cuban in a S60. Who's driving?
Why did the Jew get an electric car?
Because he was afraid of the gas.
Why can't fat kids change a tire?
They would eat the donut.
Yo mama is so slow, when she stepped on the highway they had to order a crane to come move her from starting traffic.
Friend: My bike doesn't have a kick stand, so it can't stand up.
Me: Nah, it's just two tired.
Yo mama so fat, they had to give her a license plate.
Your mama so fat, when she put a leg in the car, the wheels deflated.
You're so skinny that when you're driving, you have to put the seat forward to reach the pedals. 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
What is the difference between a nicely dressed man on a tricycle and a poorly dressed man on a bicycle?
A tire.
(A tire as in clothes and the tire? U get it? No? I'm lonely. Add me on Xbox: DECIMUS PAX)
Your mum is so fat, when she sat in a monster truck, it turned into a lowrider.
What did the car say when it crashed? That's wheely unfortunate!
Hey, did you know Paul Walker's gay?
Why do you say that?
Because he likes to wrap himself around long, old wood.
I saw a yellow bus and I knew that some-ting was wrong.
The bus was white.
How does an Indian open his car?
"Boot, boot!" (in an Indian accent)
Why did the pedo stop to help the little kids cross the streat?
To get them in his van.
Why did Sally decide to fly to school?
She couldn't drive.
Are you a race car?
Cuz I’m tryna fuck.
What should we want?
Racecars.
When should we want them?
NEOWWWWWWWWWWWM!
There was a car accident, and the cops pull up to the crime scene to start asking people questions. The police started talking to a blonde lady and said, "What happened here?" She responded by saying, "A car crash." They then asked, "But how did it happen?" She responded, "The cars crashed into each other." They finally said, "But why did it happen?" The lady said, "Oh, I know where you're going with this. It happened because when cars push on the gas pedal, the car goes forward, and they both pushed it, so they both went forward and hit each other." One cop said, "Never mind, ma'am," and they started walking away.
The blonde lady then said, "Oh, and officers, my computer froze. Do you think I should put it in the microwave or in the oven?"
In about ten days, Stephen Hawking's wheelchair is going to have its first and last service.
