Vehicle jokes
I told a blonde she needed gas for her car, and she farted into the gas tank.
What do you call a Mexican that lost his car?
Car-los
How are a woman and a car alike? Put something in them and they'll both start.
Little Jimmy has 5 red apples. His dad's car will arrive in 20 minutes. Calculate the mass of the Sun.
Why did the rapper go to the auto shop?
To get his RHYMES in TUNE.
This was a few months ago. I used to help people load and unload inventory. One day I’m driving home after having lunch with my sister, and she asked if we can stop at the next gas station. I told her, "So you can weigh yourself on the truck scale?"
What's a rapper's favorite type of car?
A Rhyme Rover.
Why did the frog take the bus to work?
His car got toad.
Yo mama so stupid, she tried to fill her car with Vin Diesel.
Why were there only 3,000 Mexicans at the Battle of the Alamo?
'Cause they only had 4 trucks.
How does a train sneeze?
It goes, "A-choo choo!"
What do you call a guy in a wheelchair on fire?
Hot wheels.
What kind of truck does a Mexican drive?
F-Juan Fifty.
I drove my new rainbow-colored car today. For some reason, it wouldn't go straight.
For a golfer, Tiger Woods isn't very good of a driver.
My last relationship ended because I didn’t open the car door for her. Instead, I just went to the top of the water.
I was sitting in traffic the other day.
Probably why I got run over.
How did Helen Keller drive?
One hand on the wheel, one hand on the road.
What do you call a terrorist in a wheelchair?
RCXD.
One time, I was working this steamroller when the guy who I squashed farted.
I guess that’s what you call “FLAT”ulence.