Vehicle jokes
I told a blonde she needed gas for her car, and she farted into the gas tank.
What do you call a Mexican that lost his car?
Car-los
How are a woman and a car alike? Put something in them and they'll both start.
Little Jimmy has 5 red apples. His dad's car will arrive in 20 minutes. Calculate the mass of the Sun.
Why did the frog take the bus to work?
His car got toad.
I drove my new rainbow-colored car today. For some reason, it wouldn't go straight.
Why did the rapper go to the auto shop?
To get his RHYMES in TUNE.
This was a few months ago. I used to help people load and unload inventory. One day I’m driving home after having lunch with my sister, and she asked if we can stop at the next gas station. I told her, "So you can weigh yourself on the truck scale?"
What's a rapper's favorite type of car?
A Rhyme Rover.
My last relationship ended because I didn’t open the car door for her. Instead, I just went to the top of the water.
When a "Baby on Board" sticker is a little faded and beat up, you know the kid is at least a year old, and the car is safe to ram.
What's a kidnapper's favorite shoe? White vans.
Why is it wrong to drive around in a van offering children candy?
Because you’ll have more success if you give out video games!
For a golfer, Tiger Woods isn't very good of a driver.
Yo mama so stupid, she tried to fill her car with Vin Diesel.
What's a kidnapper's favorite shoe?
White Vans.
What do you call a wheelchair on fire?..
Hot Wheels.
What do you call a guy in a wheelchair on fire?
Hot wheels.
What do you call a terrorist in a wheelchair?
RCXD.
How did Helen Keller drive?
One hand on the wheel, one hand on the road.