Vehicle jokes
My girlfriend tried to make me have sex on the hood of her Honda Civic. But if I'm going to have sex, it's going to be on my own Accord.
What's the difference between a pile of babies and a Lamborghini?
I don’t have a Lamborghini in my garage...
What's yellow and can't swim?
A bus full of children.
Why were there only 3,000 Mexicans at the Battle of the Alamo?
'Cause they only had 4 trucks.
Robin: "The car's not working."
Batman: "Did you check the battery?"
Robin: "What's a tery?"
What did the car say when it crashed? That's wheely unfortunate!
How many orphans does it take to "test drive" a bus? It depends on how much space the orphanage has and how much space the cemetery has.
What is a pirate's favorite ride? A carrr!
What do you call a disabled kid on fire?
Hot wheels.
Little Johnny catches his parents going at it and says, "Hey dad! Whatcha doin'?"
His father says, "I'm filling your mom's tank."
Johnny says, "Oh yeah, well, you better get a model that gets better mileage because the milk man filled her up this morning."
Two tomatoes are walking on a road. Then a car runs over one of them, and the other says: "Hi, ketchup!"
Why couldn't the bicycle stand up by itself? It was two tired.
Three men were in a desert. One man was holding a jug, the 2nd was holding a paper bag, and the last was holding a car door. A man came around and asked the 1st why he had a jug. He said it was his water and if he got thirsty, he would take a drink.
Then he asked the second why do you have a paper bag? The guy said this is my packed lunch, so if I get hungry, I will eat my lunch.
Then he asked the last man why he has a car door and he said if he got hot he would roll down the window.
What is yellow and can't swim?
A bus full of children.
Don’t have a bike? You can mount me instead.
She needs a flat surface cleaner.
Where would an astronaut park his spaceship? A parking meteor.
Kids in the backseat make accidents, but accidents in the backseat make kids.
What kind of car does Pikachu drive?
A Volts-wagon.
What is yellow and can't swim?
A bus full of orphans.