Vehicle jokes

What do you call a Mexican that lost his car?

Car-los

I told a blonde she needed gas for her car, and she farted into the gas tank.

How are a woman and a car alike? Put something in them and they'll both start.

Little Jimmy has 5 red apples. His dad's car will arrive in 20 minutes. Calculate the mass of the Sun.

Cars are like bullets; you jump in front of one, and they solve all your problems.

What do you call a wheelchair on fire?..

Hot Wheels.

I saw your mother get into a white Ford Taurus on the corner of Milton and Halliburton, and you're still trying to tell me she ain't got no job cause she "can't get a ride to work?"

Why do the brakes keep squealing?

Because the driver hit it too hard.

I wonder if Stephen Hawking was an organ donor, because I need new parts for my go-kart.

What's the difference between a hundred decapitated babies and a Ferrari?

I don't have a Ferrari in my garage :|

Why did the kid cross the road?

Because he wasn't wearing his seat belt! 😂

Your hairline reminds me of a car taking a U-turn.

Roads be so rough in Oklahoma, I saw a high lifted truck get ended riding lower than a Hot Wheels car.

I didn’t know how to fasten my seatbelt. Then it clicked.

I called the suicide hotline in Afghanistan, and they got excited and asked if I could drive a B-52.

What do you call a Mexican who lost their car?

Carlos.

A cop pulls me over and asks if I have been drinking.

I'm an honest person and say yes, I did, so I take off my sunglasses and tell him that I now had 2 glasses less.

What kind of truck does a Mexican drive?

F-Juan Fifty.

I had a dream I was a muffler last night...

I woke up EXHAUSTED! 😂😃

Someone complimented me on my driving last week. They left a note saying, "Parking Fine!"