Vehicle jokes
What do you call a flying octopus?
An octocopter! 🚁
Why did the car key never fit in?
He was too door key.
A physicist, an engineer and a programmer were in a car driving over a steep alpine pass when the brakes failed. The car was getting faster and faster, they were struggling to get round the corners and once or twice only the feeble crash barrier saved them from crashing down the side of the mountain. They were sure they were all going to die, when suddenly they spotted an escape lane. They pulled into the escape lane, and came safely to a halt. The physicist said, "We need to model the friction in the brake pads and the resultant temperature rise, see if we can work out why they failed." The engineer said, "I think I've got a few spanners in the back. I'll take a look and see if I can work out what's wrong." The programmer said, "Why don't we get going again and see if it's reproducible?"
Q) What did the airplane say to the little boy?
A) Nothing, airplanes don't talk!
What do you call a magic car?
A human.
Therapist: So what brought you here today?
Wife: He's too literal.
Therapist: And you, sir?
Husband: My truck.
I'm not saying I hate you, but if you got hit by a bus, I'd be driving that bus.
Yo mama is so stupid, she got hit by a parked car.
What do you call a magic car that I can do to help me out for you and I will be doing a great day?
What does a car have when it's very itchy?
A road rash.
What's a dog's dream car? A Dachshund 240Z.
Are you a sports car? Because you give my heart quite a rush!
I pushed a kid in a wheelchair into a fire and said, "Hot Wheels!"
Why did the bike fall over?
Because it was two tired!
I asked Stephen if he was an organ donor, and he said why.
I said, "That's a shame. I need parts for my go-cart."
One time Chuck Norris peed in the gas tank of a semi truck as a practical joke. That truck is now known as Optimus Prime.
My car fell in a ditch today. Didn't want any more cars falling, so I put a car-pet over it.
Why did the frog take the bus to work today?
His car got toad away.
To people who say that depression hits hard...
The car begs to disagree.
What's white at the front and black at the back? A bus.