Vehicle jokes
What is green and looks like a school bus?
A school bus.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Maserati.
Maserati who?
Why don't you clean up this Maserati?
A pedo is driving down a highway really slowly and gets stopped by the police. The officer asks why he was driving so slowly. The man answers, "I don't wake up the kids."
What do SpongeBob and Asians have in common?
They're both yellow and can't drive.
Kids in the backseat make accidents, but accidents in the backseat make kids.
My dog was hungry, so I let him loose outside while I filled his bowl.
I found out later that he was run over by a truck. It seemed to really hit the Spot.
What is the bus?
What do you call a wheelchair kid that is on fire?
Hot Wheels.
When Bob got on that sled, I don't know how he went so smoothly, but that is the invention of bobsled peoples.
And then Mark came in.
A cop stopped a guy for speeding. He said, "Do you know how fast you were going?" "I was trying to keep up with traffic," the guy replied. The cop said, "But there is no traffic." And the guy answered, "That's how far behind I am."
A guy tried to suffocate himself with his BMW exhaust, but his engine failed.
This is the first time German engineering fails to gas someone.
Why did the pedo stop to help the little kids cross the street?
To get them in his van.
Could a parking garage also be called a broom closet?
What’s yellow and can’t swim?
A school bus full of children.
What type of car did Hitler drive? A gas-guzzler.
What's a kidnapper's favorite shoe?
White Vans.
Your mum is so fat, when I was driving I had to swerve to avoid [her]. By the time I had finished, I had ran out of gas.
Yo mama is so stupid, she sold her car for gas money.
What do you call a dead woman in the back of your car?
Idk, I just have a couple in the backseat.
A girl comes up to her dad and says, "Can I borrow the car tonight? I want to go to this party." Dad says, "If you give a head job..." The girl says, "You're my dad! How can you say that?" Dad says, "If you want the car..." The girl thinks, "Okay." She starts. Dad says, "That tastes like sh*t." Dad: "Yeah, your brother wanted the car this morning."