bro my friend is always using zodiacs as an excuse. The other day he said he couldnt hang out with me because of cancer. I told him to fuck off. Then I realized why he was mad after that...
Your hairline so far back I use it as a ruler to measure things
I used to be addicted to the hokey pokey but then I turned myself around.
Not to brag, but I defeated our local chess champion in less than five moves. Finally my high school karate lessons came to some use.
How do you blindfold an Asian? You use dental floss.
Why do orphans use Samsung?
Because iPhone's have home buttons
I have a better method of abortion than currently used. It's like a regular one, except you can get free food out of it...we're about to give baby-back ribs a whole new meaning.
Jack and Jill went up the hill so they could fuck in the water. But Jack forgot to use protection and now they have a daughter.
My three favourite things are eating my family and not using commas.
how can you buy emos. just use their bar code
If Hitler was a comedian, He would use laughing gas
we used to be the tallest buildings in new york...
then we took an arab to the knee
What do eggs use in war? Eggk47s get my yolk this is really cracking me up! They’d probably get shellshocked wasn’t it all eggcelent Ok Ok I’m headed for the egg it. Why did the new egg fell so good? It just got laid.
why do jedis stay single?
because they use "divorce " (the force )
MAY DIVORCE BE WITH YOU!
Jesus and Moses come back to earth. Moses says, let's go down to the ocean and see if I can do what I used to when I was here before. So Moses raises his arms and motions to part the waters. Sure enough, he is able to part the waters just as before. Jesus quips, close the water, I'm going to try to do what I used to when I was here last. So Jesus walks out on top of the water, then sinks to the bottom. He crawls out pulling seaweed off of him, Moses says, hey it's not your fault, you didn't have those holes in your feet before.
I remember u. U used to be an ash I would live to roast u more, but my mom said to not burn trash
me testing if there is fall damage in real life (falls of of a cliff uses water bucket trick ) dies
What did the parents rearrange the furniture to punish a child guess he was a stupid blind motherfucker🖕that didn't even know how to use a cane to figure out where they put the furniture
why are emos useful in stores? A: Their barcodes give them discounts.
