Use jokes
What instrument do skeletons use? A trombone! Haha!
The police officer in London, who used fake Covid rules to arrest a young woman, drive her more than 50 miles out of London in a hire car, murder her, and do whatever to her, has appealed against his Whole Life tariff.
He should be relieved it was only that! Could've been worse... could've married her!
Yo momma so fat that she was used as a tank in Putin's war.
Yo mama's so nasty, they used to call them jumpolines 'til yo mama bounced on one.
Bleach solves so many problems: stains, dirty dishes, messes, and overpopulation.
Have you ever heard of the Russian politician who was so afraid of the dark that, instead of going to the bathroom at night, he would use a metal tin that he kept underneath his bed?
His name is Vladimir Pootin.
1+1=3
If you don't use a condom.
Daughter: Hey Dad, can I use your car?
Dad: Sure, but first you have to give me a blow job."
Daughter: Okay, (proceeds to service dad). Dad, ewww, your dick tastes like shite!"
Dad: Oh, that's right, I lent your brother the car.
A telescope has two uses:
1. To look in space. 2. To see your hairline.
Bro, my friend is always using zodiacs as an excuse.
The other day he said he couldn't hang out with me because of cancer. I told him to fuck off. Then I realized why he was mad after that...
Your hairline's so far back, I use it as a ruler to measure things.
I used to be addicted to the hokey pokey, but then I turned myself around.
Not to brag, but I defeated our local chess champion in less than five moves.
Finally my high school karate lessons came to some use.
How do you blindfold an Asian?
You use dental floss.
Why do orphans use Samsung?
Because iPhones have home buttons.
I have a better method of abortion than currently used. It's like a regular one, except you can get free food out of it... We're about to give baby-back ribs a whole new meaning.
Jack and Jill went up the hill so they could fuck in the water. But Jack forgot to use protection and now they have a daughter.
My three favorite things are eating my family, and not using commas.
How can you buy emos? Just use their bar code.
If Hitler was a comedian, he would use laughing gas.