Your mama is such a hoe! It took her 4 attempts to pass her driving test. She couldn't get used to the front seat.
What do people use more than you that is yours?
When is the only time Kamala Harris is using her head? When she is giving head.
We split because she would always say I never listen, or something like that.
Q: What do you use on your tuba when it breaks?
A: Tuba-glue.
One day a teacher says: "What does a pig give us?"
A student says: "Bacon!"
The teacher says: "Good! Now, what does a chicken give us?"
A student says: "Eggs!"
The teacher says: "Good! Now, what does a fat cow give us?"
A student says: "Homework!"
The whole class laughs.
How did the pornstar cut herself while using a drill?
She was too used to grabbing the tip.
Your hairline is so bad that they used it as trenches in the World War.
Troll your friend by saying "I" and saying "cup," and then tell them that that means "I see you pee."
LOL
There is also "lettuce cup," which means "let us see you pee."
I just came across a pile of cash in the parking lot.
Usually I just use tissues.
Sara opens her lunch and reads the letter inside. "I packed your favorite -love mom," Sara reaches in and announces "yay PB and J!" Tom goes in his lunch and pulls out a letter "go buy yourself something healthy at the cafeteria -Dad," then pulls out 20 bucks and says "nice!" They both look at Craig as he pulls out a letter. Craig reads the letter in his head, it said "WE HAVE YOUR PARENTS, THEY TELL US THEY KEEP THE MONEY UNDER THEIR BED. BRING $10 000 TO THE RANDAVOU POINT OR THEY WILL BE KILLED. YOU DIDN'T TAKE US SERIOUSLY LAST TIME SO THERE IS MORE PROOF IN YOUR LUNCH." Craig throws down the letter and pulls a finger out of his lunch. Tom and Sara look shocked, then Craig says "ugh, severed finger, again!"
I would make a joke about Silver the Hedgehog... but it's no use!
Why couldn’t people use the George Floyd action figure? Because it was vacuum sealed.
Bully: Ur momma so fat that the whales said we are family even though you are a little bigger than us.
Nerd: Yo momma so ugly that when she went in the bathtub, the water jumped out.
Silence...................punch!
Why does Joe Biden like cold weather? Because he’s used to being in the teens.
A donut is not empty inside, that was a hole in the middle. If I'm a donut, the hole used to be where I put my feeling and happiness, but people snatch it away from me.
Anyway, can someone put a hole in my physical body too? I kinda wanted to see people cry for me just like how people cry for Ace from One Piece.
Jack and Jill went up the hill to celebrate their marriage.
Nine months later, they happily had some use for their baby carriage.
Two years later, they went up again, then their daughter had a brother.
But one little secret that no one knew was that Jack and Jill share a mother.
Yo hairline was used as the blueprint for the Great Wall of China.
What does Biden do? He does you.
What does do something useful unlike you?
Your hairline's so far back even Bill Nye the Science Guy couldn't use photosynthesis to fix it.
