Ups jokes
One day in Roblox, someone was arguing with me, and they asked me my age. "18." They said that they were twenty-two.
Me: "If you're so smart, what's the largest daycare game on Roblox?"
Him: "Yo Hair," he said. Then he left the game, and I said, "That is so messed up. Actually, that's bullcrap."
What do you call an emo kid with light-up shoes? A human chandelier.
What's the difference between a newborn baby and an orphan after a rugby match?
They both come out bloody and crying, but at least one gets picked up.
I asked a person in a wheelchair if they wanted to fight. All I had to do is say, "Stand up!"
What song did Michael Jackson come up with after his first sleepover with the kid?
"Just Beat It."
Why do girls rub their eyes after they wake up in the morning? because they don't have balls to scratch.
When you tell an orphan, "I did your mom in your home," and they start crying.
Me: You f&*k up.
The class: Oh sh!&
The cannibal got angry, so he threw up his arms.
Everybody asks, "What's up?" but nobody asks, "What's down?"
People were deciding how to punish a terrible criminal, and one man came up with a great idea.
He sat him in a movie theater with no food at all and made him watch a 12 hour documentary about the country Hungary.
Short girl: "How do you see up there?"
Tall guy: "Who said that?"
I spit my drink out and then ran away.
HAIKU JOKE:
Helen Keller could Fuck a blind man so hard that she Ends up with his child.
Latias is red.
Latios is blue.
You should always remember to put up your curtains because I Pikachu.
Helen threw up gang signs her whole life and didn't know.
I lost my job by giving up my seat to someone.
I didn't know you're not supposed to do that if you're a bus driver!
What did one butt cheek say to the other butt cheek?... You crack me up.
I'm 43 and my date is 19. A man rudely comes up to our table and calls me a pedophile. I told him to fuck off, this is our 10th anniversary.
Cristiano Clapnaldo woke up FEELING DANGEROUS against Real Sociedad!
- 0 tapins! - 0 assists! - 3/3 dives! - 0 key passes! - 2 big chances missed! - 1/4 dribbles! - 2 Offsides! - 27 claps!
Better than Elanga?
Thank you so much for helping me get to 20 followers! I'm so happy, every time I look at my followers going up, it makes me so happy. I can't wait to keep posting other things on here! <3
Why do orphans become criminals when they grow up? Because they want to be wanted.