Ups jokes

What's the difference between a newborn baby and an orphan after a rugby match?

They both come out bloody and crying, but at least one gets picked up.

What song did Michael Jackson come up with after his first sleepover with the kid?

"Just Beat It."

What do you call an emo kid with light-up shoes? A human chandelier.

I was such an ugly kid. When I played in the sandbox, the cat kept covering me up.

Why do girls rub their eyes after they wake up in the morning? because they don't have balls to scratch.

One day in Roblox, someone was arguing with me, and they asked me my age. "18." They said that they were twenty-two.

Me: "If you're so smart, what's the largest daycare game on Roblox?"

Him: "Yo Hair," he said. Then he left the game, and I said, "That is so messed up. Actually, that's bullcrap."

When you tell an orphan, "I did your mom in your home," and they start crying.

Me: You f&*k up.

The class: Oh sh!&

Short girl: "How do you see up there?"

Tall guy: "Who said that?"

I spit my drink out and then ran away.

"Knock, knock." "Who's there?" "Tornado." "Tornado who?" "Tornado going to suck yo house up."

Why can't orphans go to school? They need their parents to sign them up.

Thank you so much for helping me get to 20 followers! I'm so happy, every time I look at my followers going up, it makes me so happy. I can't wait to keep posting other things on here! <3

The cannibal got angry, so he threw up his arms.

Everybody asks, "What's up?" but nobody asks, "What's down?"

People were deciding how to punish a terrible criminal, and one man came up with a great idea.

He sat him in a movie theater with no food at all and made him watch a 12 hour documentary about the country Hungary.

You could say Kobe's career went up in smoke.

Why do orphans become criminals when they grow up? Because they want to be wanted.

HAIKU JOKE:

Helen Keller could Fuck a blind man so hard that she Ends up with his child.

Helen threw up gang signs her whole life and didn't know.

Latias is red.

Latios is blue.

You should always remember to put up your curtains because I Pikachu.

A lady walked into a bar and ordered their special drink. The bartender then gave her a brown glass full of milk. The lady complained about this, but then the bartender said, "Just shut up and swallow!"