anyone up for some fortnite?
I've always wanted to WAVE to a dolphin, but it could never SEA me.
That dolphin is so WASHED up. WATER you say we get revenge?
Why do disabled people always get picked on?
Because they can’t stand up for themselves.
Roses are red, I reload fast...
I'm gonna pull up to your school, bitch you better run fast!
If I ever stuff up a post, please let me be. I do have ADHD, short-term memory disorder, and dyscalculia, so please remember that no one likes to be picked on for things that they can't control.
Friend: Why did you touch me?
Me: That guy in the corner with no hair, glasses, really nice, white button up shirt, that drives a white van slow by school zones told me to and he would give me hard candy.
Silver walks up to Gold in a bar and says, "AU, get outta here!"
My eggcellent egg yolks crack everyone up.
If you don't like them, you're just hard boiled.
"I'd rather go through the pain of childbirth again than let you drill in my mouth," the woman told her dentist.
He replied, "Well, please make up your mind so I can adjust my chair."
Why did the girl 👧 bring lipstick 💄 to beauty school?
Because she had a make-up exam.
Why did the people think Stephen Hawking was disrespectful?
'Cause he didn't stand up for the national anthem.
I bullied a handicap today.
What is he gonna do? Stand up for himself?
Yo momma is so fat, when she caught the flesh-eating bacteria, it gave up!
One day I walk up to an emo kid. I realized he had a fresh cut, so I grab my hand and slap his wrist and told him, "I like ya cut, G!"
I am up in the air about becoming a pilot.
What goes up must come down, apart from Mr. Vyse.
I was trying to make friends, and this one person came up to me. They said, "Lettuce be friends?" I just laughed and said that was tear-able.
Why are eggs bad at puns?
They always mix up their yolks!
The tent pole is up, The canvas is spread, The hell with breakfast, Come back to bed.
Take the tent pole down, Put the canvas away, The monkey had a hemorrhage, No circus today.
Life has ups and downs, and they had downs.
