Ups jokes
The eyelash and the lipstick got into a fight. Soon they will make up.
HAIKU JOKE:
Helen Keller could Fuck a blind man so hard that she Ends up with his child.
Why do orphans become criminals when they grow up? Because they want to be wanted.
Thank you so much for helping me get to 20 followers! I'm so happy, every time I look at my followers going up, it makes me so happy. I can't wait to keep posting other things on here! <3
Cristiano Clapnaldo woke up FEELING DANGEROUS against Real Sociedad!
- 0 tapins! - 0 assists! - 3/3 dives! - 0 key passes! - 2 big chances missed! - 1/4 dribbles! - 2 Offsides! - 27 claps!
Better than Elanga?
I lost my job by giving up my seat to someone.
I didn't know you're not supposed to do that if you're a bus driver!
A lady walked into a bar and ordered their special drink. The bartender then gave her a brown glass full of milk. The lady complained about this, but then the bartender said, "Just shut up and swallow!"
Latias is red.
Latios is blue.
You should always remember to put up your curtains because I Pikachu.
What did one butt cheek say to the other butt cheek?... You crack me up.
Helen threw up gang signs her whole life and didn't know.
Why can't orphans go to school? They need their parents to sign them up.
"Knock, knock." "Who's there?" "Tornado." "Tornado who?" "Tornado going to suck yo house up."
Sometimes I just wake up in the morning and think, "Damn, better luck next time!"
I'm 43 and my date is 19. A man rudely comes up to our table and calls me a pedophile. I told him to fuck off, this is our 10th anniversary.
Me scrolling through jokes that sum up my life, starts crying.
My friend: What’s wrong?
Me: Nothing, it's just so funny. Lol😂🤣😂
Why was the short person a coward? They didn't stand up to challenges.
What burns up a football stadium?
A football match.
I would tell you a joke about a slice of pizza, but it's really... cheesy. I donut think you will come up with a better pun than this.
Why did the cumulonimbus not show up for work?
Because it was on strike.
This morning I was beaten up by a busty woman in an elevator.
I was staring at boobs, and she said, "Press One?"
So I did...
I don't remember much after that.