Ups jokes

Short girl: "How do you see up there?"

Tall guy: "Who said that?"

I spit my drink out and then ran away.

You could say Kobe's career went up in smoke.

Everybody asks, "What's up?" but nobody asks, "What's down?"

People were deciding how to punish a terrible criminal, and one man came up with a great idea.

He sat him in a movie theater with no food at all and made him watch a 12 hour documentary about the country Hungary.

Cristiano Clapnaldo woke up FEELING DANGEROUS against Real Sociedad!

- 0 tapins! - 0 assists! - 3/3 dives! - 0 key passes! - 2 big chances missed! - 1/4 dribbles! - 2 Offsides! - 27 claps!

Better than Elanga?

The cannibal got angry, so he threw up his arms.

Thank you so much for helping me get to 20 followers! I'm so happy, every time I look at my followers going up, it makes me so happy. I can't wait to keep posting other things on here! <3

Why do orphans become criminals when they grow up? Because they want to be wanted.

Helen threw up gang signs her whole life and didn't know.

HAIKU JOKE:

Helen Keller could Fuck a blind man so hard that she Ends up with his child.

Latias is red.

Latios is blue.

You should always remember to put up your curtains because I Pikachu.

Why was the short person a coward? They didn't stand up to challenges.

I lost my job by giving up my seat to someone.

I didn't know you're not supposed to do that if you're a bus driver!

What did one butt cheek say to the other butt cheek?... You crack me up.

A lady walked into a bar and ordered their special drink. The bartender then gave her a brown glass full of milk. The lady complained about this, but then the bartender said, "Just shut up and swallow!"

Why can't orphans go to school? They need their parents to sign them up.

I'm 43 and my date is 19. A man rudely comes up to our table and calls me a pedophile. I told him to fuck off, this is our 10th anniversary.

"Knock, knock." "Who's there?" "Tornado." "Tornado who?" "Tornado going to suck yo house up."

Me scrolling through jokes that sum up my life, starts crying.

My friend: What’s wrong?

Me: Nothing, it's just so funny. Lol😂🤣😂

Sometimes I just wake up in the morning and think, "Damn, better luck next time!"