(Bully) Boy, you ugly!
(Me) Boy, shut up, that's why your hairline start at the back of your head.
What falls down the building and doesn't get up again?
An emo.
I told an orphan to never stop talking until their parents come home.
Now I can’t get it to shut up.
What do Special Ed kids and fast kids have in common? They like to do things sped up.
I chucked a lamp and a depressed kid, hoping it would brighten up his day.
A police officer came up to me and said, "Just why, why would you bring the epileptic children to a laser tag fight?"
Yo mama so fat, when she made a joke, only one person laughed at it: the pavement. It was absolutely cracking up!
My girlfriend just broke up with me because I held a door for another girl. She said I was cheating, but the girl I helped was in a wheelchair.
When we were kids, we used to be afraid of the dark.
But when we grew up, the electricity bill made us afraid of the light!
Walk up to an emo and say, "I like your cuts G."
Why does Hitler hate golf?
He would end up in a bunker!
What did the Taliban say to the Afghan?
Nothing, they blew him up.
A priest says to me, "Come up, my child." Then I said, "Do I know you? Because you're not my father."
The wheelchair kid laughed at my test score, so I told him to stand up to the anthem.
When you suffer from depression and someone tells you to just cheer up, god damn, why didn't I think of that?
The guy in the wheelchair at my gym can do so many pull-ups with the wheelchair on, but I said to him, "Don't skip leg day."
Found this girl in Hawaii.
Put a stick up her ass and she said, "Ayi."
I don’t see what the problem is.
The Supreme Court came up with a solution to the tampon shortage, yet all the liberals are pissed!
My son came up to me and said, "Mom, where are your parents?"
I stared in confusion. I said, "In a far place."
He asked, "In an orphanage?"
Why do emo kids love dressing up on Halloween so much?
It's their last holiday for them, but at least they're still hanging on...
