Ups jokes
I broke up with my RBLX gf, and I heard my uncle crying in the other room.
When Ariana Grande broke up with Pete, she said, "I have one less problem without you."
The guy in the wheelchair at my gym can do so many pull-ups with the wheelchair on, but I said to him, "Don't skip leg day."
Found this girl in Hawaii.
Put a stick up her ass and she said, "Ayi."
I don’t see what the problem is.
The Supreme Court came up with a solution to the tampon shortage, yet all the liberals are pissed!
Memes
My son came up to me and said, "Mom, where are your parents?"
I stared in confusion. I said, "In a far place."
He asked, "In an orphanage?"
I chucked a lamp and a depressed kid, hoping it would brighten up his day.
How do you get an orphan to go to sleep?
Tell them their parents are waiting when they wake up.
I told an orphan to never stop talking until their parents come home.
Now I can’t get it to shut up.
Why do orphans not care about sleep? Because they have no one to wake up to.
What's an orphan's favorite game?
"Who's your daddy?"
(Go look up the game)
Why do emo kids love dressing up on Halloween so much?
It's their last holiday for them, but at least they're still hanging on...
A homeless kid walked up to another kid and said, "I have what you don't." He said, "(Parents)."
And the kid said, "Your right, I do have parents," and walked away.
I asked my mom why dad was so pale and sick. She said, "Shut the fuck up and keep digging!"
The terrorists said over the intercom, "We're coming up to our destination, so we can't go over it, we can't go under, we have to go through it."
When you suffer from depression and someone tells you to just cheer up, god damn, why didn't I think of that?
What couldn’t the boy in the wheelchair do when he saw a bully? He couldn’t stand up for himself.
I saw an orphan fall in the street crying, so I ran up to him and said, "Are you okay? Where are your parents?"
My grandad broke his legs.
To cheer him up, I bought him a Walkman.
Why would a dead guy lie?
Because he can't stand up.