Ups jokes

A priest says to me, "Come up, my child." Then I said, "Do I know you? Because you're not my father."

Why do orphans not care about sleep? Because they have no one to wake up to.

I told an orphan to never stop talking until their parents come home.

Now I can’t get it to shut up.

How do you get an orphan to go to sleep?

Tell them their parents are waiting when they wake up.

A homeless kid walked up to another kid and said, "I have what you don't." He said, "(Parents)."

And the kid said, "Your right, I do have parents," and walked away.

What's an orphan's favorite game?

"Who's your daddy?"

(Go look up the game)

Why do emo kids love dressing up on Halloween so much?

It's their last holiday for them, but at least they're still hanging on...

I asked my mom why dad was so pale and sick. She said, "Shut the fuck up and keep digging!"

When you suffer from depression and someone tells you to just cheer up, god damn, why didn't I think of that?

The terrorists said over the intercom, "We're coming up to our destination, so we can't go over it, we can't go under, we have to go through it."

What do Special Ed kids and fast kids have in common? They like to do things sped up.

What falls down the building and doesn't get up again?

An emo.

Found this girl in Hawaii.

Put a stick up her ass and she said, "Ayi."

I chucked a lamp and a depressed kid, hoping it would brighten up his day.

What did the Taliban say to the Afghan?

Nothing, they blew him up.

Why does Hitler hate golf?

He would end up in a bunker!

My son came up to me and said, "Mom, where are your parents?"

I stared in confusion. I said, "In a far place."

He asked, "In an orphanage?"

The guy in the wheelchair at my gym can do so many pull-ups with the wheelchair on, but I said to him, "Don't skip leg day."

I don’t see what the problem is.

The Supreme Court came up with a solution to the tampon shortage, yet all the liberals are pissed!

I broke up with my RBLX gf, and I heard my uncle crying in the other room.