Ups jokes

I keep trying to call my emo friend. They keep hanging up.

I heard there was a kidnapping.

Don't worry, he woke up in the back of a van.

It was his father's friend who was a priest.

He was just bringing him to church.

Why does an orphan go to a sewer?

So it can wash up.

Papyrus: Sans, I have a joke. What do you call someone lazy and incompetent?

Sans: What do you call them?

Papyrus: YOU! NOW GET UP AND CLEAN YOUR ROOM, YOU LAZY BONES!

A brother and sister were hanging out, and the brother was sad, so the sister asked why. The brother replies with, "I think I need to break up with you!"

German XP farms: Train carrying chained guys.

American XP farms: Walking up to a school with a gun.

African XP farms: Cotton field.

Yo, barber fucked up so bad he pulled out a "Plants vs. Zombies" map and that shii fit perfectly.

Yo, barber fucked up so bad he had to get a breathalyzer test.

Why did the rapper become a painter?

To brush up on his rhymes!

My girlfriend's sister told me to write her a poem. This is what I came up with:

roses are red, violets are blue, if you ever feel alone, I'm always watching you.

Girls are like blackjack.

I always want 21 but end up hitting on 14.

Anyone want to eat me up? I'm in that kind of mood right now.

I saw a depressed kid and I gave him a lamp to lighten up his day.

Suicide really isn't something to joke about, unless it's hanging yourself.

It's a really quicker way to die, and less blood spilled for your mother to clean up.

What goes down but not up?

An emo.

Don't give up on your dreams...

Keep sleeping.

I posted up on my story that I got a new cut. My friends and family called the cops...

I used to be emo.

He was in a fight, then a person said, "Stand up for yourself!"

Why do you think after death the angel says do not be afraid?

Search up biblically accurate angels.

Man: Hi, Doc, I have a problem. I take a shit at 6:00 AM every morning.

Doc: What's wrong with that?

Man: I don't wake up until 8:00 AM.