Ups jokes
Why did the rapper become a painter?
To brush up on his rhymes!
What is George Floyd’s best pick up line?
"You're breathtaking."
"A llahu Aks into a bar..."
And it blows up!
What's the fastest way to break up a bingo game in Baghdad?
You shout out, "B-52!"
My girlfriend's sister told me to write her a poem. This is what I came up with:
roses are red, violets are blue, if you ever feel alone, I'm always watching you.
Why does an orphan go to a sewer?
So it can wash up.
A brother and sister were hanging out, and the brother was sad, so the sister asked why. The brother replies with, "I think I need to break up with you!"
Anyone want to eat me up? I'm in that kind of mood right now.
Today, a kid in a wheelchair was rolling around the class to get away from this one annoying kid, so I told him, "Brayden, just get up and walk away."
I told Siri about my dog, and she told me if she could tell me a joke to cheer me up, and I said okay.
She asked me, "Knock knock." I said, "Who is there?" She said, "Not your dog."
Girls are like blackjack.
I always want 21 but end up hitting on 14.
I keep trying to call my emo friend. They keep hanging up.
I heard there was a kidnapping.
Don't worry, he woke up in the back of a van.
It was his father's friend who was a priest.
He was just bringing him to church.
Yo, barber fucked up so bad he pulled out a "Plants vs. Zombies" map and that shii fit perfectly.
Yo, barber fucked up so bad he had to get a breathalyzer test.
Papyrus: Sans, I have a joke. What do you call someone lazy and incompetent?
Sans: What do you call them?
Papyrus: YOU! NOW GET UP AND CLEAN YOUR ROOM, YOU LAZY BONES!
I saw a depressed kid and I gave him a lamp to lighten up his day.
You: Bro, this school picture is soooo ugly!! (Points to yours).
Me: Bruh, you just typed up mirror!
If a fat person were to go on a flying car, it will just be at the ground. When they exit, it will just fly up.
I once was playing with my friend and Roblox girlfriend, then one day, they cheated on me. I broke up with her and unfriended him, then I saw my mom and my uncle crying!
Me be like: ;-;