A man walks into a bar and say I'm feeling depressed what do you have to cheer me up? The bartender replied: a shotgun
What happens when Rick Astley is getting an erection whilst singing never gonna gove you up?
You get PRICKrolled.
Q: What Kind of club do roosters go to? A: The Chicken Strip
I made that one up.
I went up to my mom and asked how humanity started she said it started with monkeys, so I went up to my dad and asked my dad he said it all started with Adam and Eve so I told my dad that mom said humanity started with monkeys and dad said mom was telling her side of the story. LOL🤣
when someone says to cheer up: you, I never thought of that. :) -> in reality, :( (sob)
depression is no game and here in this world we are here for each other although at times it might not seem like it. keep strong and you'll find the end of the tunnel but ending the pain and bieng gone just spreads depression.
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
Two skeleton brothers are talking 1st bro: Hey get up you and do some exercise you are so hevy you weigh a ton! 2nd bro: A skele-TON :)
So a doctor walks into the room with a dying patient. He looks the man up and down and says gravely: "I'm sorry, you only have ten left." The other man smiles nervously and asks, "T-ten what doc? Hours? Days? Weeks?" The doctor calmly looks at him. "Nine."
Me: Calls 9-1-1 Operator: 9/11 what’s your emergency? Me: *hangs up*
Sally threw herself a birthday party, and only one person showed up. Who is it?
The grim reaper
A brunette, a red-head, and a blonde are being chased by bandits. They are chased to the edge of a cliff and a genie appears. "I will help you escape," says the genie, "say what you wish to turn into, and you will become that thing." The brunette jumps off the cliff and says "Hawk." She turns into a hawk and flies away. The red-head says "Falcon." She turns into a falcon and flies away. Now the blonde is alone and the bandits are getting closer. She makes her decision and backs up, then runs toward the cliff. And...she trips and says "Crap."
The End
What time do butts get up? At the crack of dawn!!!
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
How many fingers am I holding up?
Said the suicide bomber, referring to the countdown.
A limbless man sat on the side of a lake everyday. He had no hands or no legs. One day he was crying when a woman was walking by and saw that he was upset, so she asked if he was okay. He replied, "No." The woman said, "Well, what's wrong?" The limbless man said, "I've never been hugged by anyone ever." So the woman, out of kindness, hugged the man. "Are you okay now?" she asked. "No," the man replied. So again the woman asked him what was wrong. He answered, "I've never been kissed before." The woman eagerly gave him a peck on the lips and asked, "Are you okay now?" The man shook his head sadly. The woman asked him what was wrong for the third time. The man said, "I've never been fucked." The woman looked at him, picks him up, throws him in the lake, and says, "Now you are!"
Wye did the orphan sleep outside... because he gets to wake up toe mother nature
what did the woman do after meeting up with a rapist?
sue the dating site for matching her with him
So a woman gives birth to a child and the doctor grabs it by the leg and holds it upside down and starts swinging it around the room and slamming it into the furniture. The mother tries to get up and starts screaming and crying, “Let my baby go you sick bastard!”, and the doctor looks at the mother and stops swinging the baby. He is holding it by the left leg and starts chuckling, “I’m just kidding, it was already dead.”
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
Poor Bubba got burnt up so bad in a house fire that the coroner needed someone to identify the body. So Bubbas two best friends the three were inseparable agreed.. The first friend said hard to tell can you turn him over the coroner look perplexed but did so nope that's not Bubba. The second friend said he's burnt up pretty bad can you roll him over again the coroner didn't understand but rolled him over anyway, nope that's not him. Pretty confused the coroner asked how can you tell its not him by rolling him over? well you see Bubba had two assholes, Impossible the coroner replied. The friends said I don't know but everytime we went to town everyone would say here comes Bubba with them to assholes.
