Ups jokes

A project where people get lined up to be changed.

Me people call me emo.

Older cousin: Why?

Because I always have my hood up and wear black cloths and wear black cross earrings.

My girlfriend broke up with me, so I decided to take her wheelchair. Guess who came crawling back?

I went to the store because I had to go to school to run up downstairs because my phone started calling me because I was playing Mario Kart on my kitchen sink's baby grandma, like if you cry every time.

A handicapped person tells a good joke, but he can't be a stand up comedian.

Are you the Twin Towers? Cause I'd love to take you out. 🤭

Why was Elon Musk unable to land a job as a television host at NBC?

His own car cannot catch up with Jay Leno's Corvette!

Quote Of The Day:

It's okay to struggle.

It's not okay to give up.

Do you know the teacher that went up into space?

You know what her husband said to her? "I will feed the dog; you feed the fish."

What’s the last balloon George Floyd blew up? His heroin balloon.

Go up to an orphan and say: "Yer ma is deed."

Why is Dawayne so small? Because his parents cut him up into small slices!

You're so ugly that every time you look up in the sky, God says, "Sorry, can't help you."

Stephen Hawking talks by clicks. Two clicks is "hi," and five is "dab me up."

Sorry man, but I got to say one thing. You know when a bully in a movie walks to you, then they walk up to you, and they smell you and say, "What are you doing?"

I woke up today, and my mom said it was 1940.

What do you call a fucked up mullet? A fullet.

One day, a lady and her husband were talking and it was time for dinner. He got up and sat at the dining room table, and the lady brought the plate of food in and she sat it down in front of him. "What's this?" he said. The lady said, "A piece of shit...honey! Want some water to drink?"

What do you call a cow that fell up the stairs?

Ground beef.

Mommy, mommy! Do we own a sweatshop?

Shut up and keep sewing!