Ups jokes

You know, people always tell you to stand up for yourself. Why didn't anyone tell the World Trade Center that? 🤔

Did you hear that oxygen and magnesium hooked up last night?

OMg!

Yo hairline is too pushed back, looking like it got slapped up by Will Smith.

I’m gonna put my AR 15 up your fucking ass and pull the trigger!

Your sister is so short, she needs to roll up her panties.

My orphan terrorist friend is on TV... I think he blew up.

My wife is so fat. She jumped up in the air and got stuck.

My wife is so fat. I finally got up the energy to walk around to the other side. I found someone else!

A guy goes into the gas station and says, "I need a box of rubbers with pesticide."

The cashier said, "Pesticide? Don't you mean spermicide?"

The guy says, "No! My old lady has had a bug up her ass all week, and I am going to kill it."

If y'all look up freshfry jokes, I'll come up. About a year ago, I had a bunch of friends on this app.

Stan says shut the f**k up or sit your ass down on that b***h chair!

Do you want to hear a cold joke?

Can't. It warmed up.

What animal jumps the highest?

An emo kid, some of them are still up there.

EDP445 is a cupcake. Look it up.

My birthday's on September 11th, I'm gonna turn the fuck up and throw a banger! Then rub my tits in birthday cake frosting!!! WOOOOOOOOO!

Your hairline got pulled back. You look like you've been climbing Chris, and you got smacked up by Will Smith.

Bro has to get a fringe to cover up the big, increasing hairline.

There was a guy who got his whole left side shot off.

When he was at the hospital and he woke up, he asked the doctor if he was okay.

The doctor said, "You're all right now."

I saw a girl with blond hair. She was sexy and beautiful. I thought she was the most hottest girl I ever saw, so I ran up to her feeling hot.

Hairline is so far up, Patrick Mahomes can't even sell to a wide receiver.