Ups jokes
Go up to an orphan and say: "Yer ma is deed."
Why was the rapper always in shape?
Because he dropped so many BARS, he had to stay fit to pick them up!
You heard of the Pixar movie "Up," but have you heard of "Down, Down," the 9/11 terrorist attack?
Yo mama so stupid, she tried to wake up sleeping pills.
If a person with Down syndrome robs you, what do you say? “I’m up your Down.”
Memes
The only thing running in THIS family’s your big ass mouth! Oh, I’d better shut up, or Big Bertha’s gonna confuse my head for a burger!
Do you want to hear a cold joke?
Can't. It warmed up.
What animal jumps the highest?
An emo kid, some of them are still up there.
"Stand up for yourself! Oh, come on, walk it off."
It must be tiring to put makeup on two faces.
What did the rapper say to his shoes?
"You better lace up!"
How do you know if a rapper is lying?
His rhymes don't add up.
A man is sitting at home when he hears a knock at the door.
He opens the door and sees a snail on the porch.
He picks up the snail and throws it as far as he can.
Three years later there's a knock at the door.
He opens it and sees the same snail.
The snail says, "What was that all about?"
One day I went to talk to my friend.
"Hi John!" I said.
No response.
"Oh, yeah."
I went to pick up the remote and clicked the unmute button.
"Hope that helps!"
Stan says shut the f**k up or sit your ass down on that b***h chair!
I saw a girl with blond hair. She was sexy and beautiful. I thought she was the most hottest girl I ever saw, so I ran up to her feeling hot.
So, one day Kylin Banks was playing football. Then he saw Violet. After he saw her, he got bricked up. Then he ran after her and rubbed his pickle all over her. She was so happy.
Your hairline got pulled back. You look like you've been climbing Chris, and you got smacked up by Will Smith.
When creating the world, Jesus made the water salty. A person comes up to the water, drinks it, and says: "Why are you so salty?"
My science teacher was talking about natural selection.
At one point, she asked me to name the first person to theorize about it. I said, "Eric Harris." It was on his shirt.
If you don't get the joke, look up "Eric Harris natural selection."