Ups jokes

My girlfriend broke up with me, so I decided to take her wheelchair. Guess who came crawling back?

One day, a lady and her husband were talking and it was time for dinner. He got up and sat at the dining room table, and the lady brought the plate of food in and she sat it down in front of him. "What's this?" he said. The lady said, "A piece of shit...honey! Want some water to drink?"

Sorry man, but I got to say one thing. You know when a bully in a movie walks to you, then they walk up to you, and they smell you and say, "What are you doing?"

A guy walks up to a girl. He says, "Hey, you want a poker? I’ve got one."

Y'all catch me up, what's going on on this website because I haven't been on for, like, 2 weeks?

"Hey, look at me, I'm stupid named Jordan C who won't shut up and leave Addison alone."

Don't crack this joke up!

I wanted to put this up so I could say goodbye to everyone that I chatted with, like Gwen or MEG... So, yea, see you next year after Friday.

Stephen Hawking talks by clicks. Two clicks is "hi," and five is "dab me up."

I woke up today, and my mom said it was 1940.

What do you call a fucked up mullet? A fullet.

You're so ugly that every time you look up in the sky, God says, "Sorry, can't help you."

Yo forehead so angled, your mom could walk up.

I saw a little kid cry. I went up to him and asked where his parents were. Jeez, I love working at the orphanage!

Gwen, I thought you would be with me if Prince broke up with you... :((((((

What can you break, even if you never pick it up or touch it?

Answer: A promise.

Somebody told me to type "Up" by Cardi B. So here it goes:

Up

"Gwen don't want break up! Please talk to me!"

Wanna hook up at Mount Cook?

Q: My scale had my phone number on it. Wandering why, I looked up only to see an elephant in my face...