Ups jokes
Your mama's so stupid, she put lipstick on her forehead to make up her mind.
Yo mama so fat, when she went up the elevator, the World Trade Center collapsed.
This category is messed up.
My Mom died in 9/11, at least she was doing what she loved, flying planes.
A cop pulls two Arabian men over, walks up to their window, and says, "We are looking for two child molesters!"
Now after a short pause, the two men look at each other, then back at the officer and say, "We'll do it!"
Imagine going up to an emo and saying, "You're just like a spider, you're both good at hanging."
me when my mom wakes me up!
I saw a pretty girl walking outside. I asked for her number.
We met up and began to have sex. She told me to turn over, which was weird. I felt a stinging pain in my ass all of a sudden.
Kidnapper: Hey kid, your parents told me to pick you up.
Kid: Sir, this is an orphanage.
Kidnapper: ...
Why don't Indians play soccer?
Because every time they take a corner, they open up a shop.
My sister’s birthday is on 9/11. When she opened her presents, she jumped up with an explosion.
A man has the power to grant anyone a wish they want.
A kid comes up and says, "I want to be like Batman!"
The man smiles and grants his wish. The child goes home and finds that he is now an orphan.
How do you fit 1000 babies in a swimming pool?
A blender.
How do you get them out? Slurp them up with a straw.
What was the winning play at the leper football game?
A hand off up the middle.
What do pedophiles do when they wake up?
Turn on the child safety lock on the car.
What if Stephen Hawking was the real Slim Shady, but couldn't stand up?
Why can't women just shut the fuck up! I hate women. They need to know their place and stay in the kitchen and be baby makers...
Kobe couldn’t clutch up with the rift to go.
What did the bird do when he ate the expired worm?
He flew up!
Your mom is so fat, she wakes up on both sides of the bed.
Friend: Slavery isn't good.
Other friend: Yeah, it's terrible.
Me: Shut up and get me a juice!
I'd mop the floor with your face, but you might just mess it up more.