Ups jokes
The parentless child stood as her orphanage was blown up by a kamikaze I had rented.
A plane is about to crash into the ocean, and the passengers are freaking out.
A woman stands up, takes off her clothes, and says, "Before I go, is there a man man enough to make me feel like a woman?"
A man stands up, takes off his shirt, and says, "Here, iron this!"
(amazing pick up line) Yoo, what if we got matching tattoos? You get two towers and I get a plane, because I crashed right into your life!
God, those orphans were putting up such a fight, I had to lock 'em in the basement.
(Pick-up line) If your tits are the Twin Towers... can I be your Osama?
Abortion is becoming more and more expensive these days. So visit Ammu-nation and pick up an Armsan RS-X1 tactical shotgun. It comes with a free box of ammo and a three year warranty. Buy now, pay later.
How many skinheads does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
10; 1 to do it and 9 to back him up.
Mom, shut up. Me? I don't shut up, I grow up. When I look at you, I throw up.
Many were curious about how methane ended up on Mars.
I'm pretty sure it was because of Uranus.
What's the difference between China and New York City?
In China, the Asians ride ON the trains. In New York City, they usually end up riding UNDER them.
My boyfriend thinks he’s hilarious.
Him: How do you break things?
Me: You break things up.
Him: Okay.
Me: Is everything okay?
Him: We’re a twig. We’re breaking up.
I would say something funny, but I would have to dig someone up.
I cannot believe no one's come up with a cure for anorexia yet. I thought it would be a piece of cake!
"Is that a quirked-up white boi with a little bit of swag, busting it down sexual style?
Is HE goated with the sauce?"
What does a bungee jumper and a homosexual have in common?
When the rubber snaps, they both end up in the shit! 💩
"Dude come here and see a rabbit!"
"Ok!"
"Are you ok, man?"
"Yeah, I’m fine."
"Dude, pull your pants back up!"
A kid goes into a restaurant without parents, and a waitress came up and said, "You have to leave; this is a family restaurant."
The view is so much better without those twins covering the city.
Well, that was a blow up!
What's the difference between an orphan and a baby?
The orphan gets back up.
Me: Shut up! If you don't shut up, I'm gonna tell your parents!
You: Why? I don't have any.