Ups jokes

The parentless child stood as her orphanage was blown up by a kamikaze I had rented.

By the way, could you tell me an elevator pun? I can't seem to "come up" with one myself.

I watch sexy girls AMV and my pp goes up and down and up.

POV: You walk up to your short friend and say, "How is the weather down there?"

Many were curious about how methane ended up on Mars.

I'm pretty sure it was because of Uranus.

What's the difference between China and New York City?

In China, the Asians ride ON the trains. In New York City, they usually end up riding UNDER them.

What does a bungee jumper and a homosexual have in common?

When the rubber snaps, they both end up in the shit! 💩

"Is that a quirked-up white boi with a little bit of swag, busting it down sexual style?

Is HE goated with the sauce?"

"Dude come here and see a rabbit!"

"Ok!"

"Are you ok, man?"

"Yeah, I’m fine."

"Dude, pull your pants back up!"

Have you ever tried anal bleaching?

It really helps assholes lighten up.

The view is so much better without those twins covering the city.

Well, that was a blow up!

What's the difference between an orphan and a baby?

The orphan gets back up.

How many skinheads does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

10; 1 to do it and 9 to back him up.

I cannot believe no one's come up with a cure for anorexia yet. I thought it would be a piece of cake!

(Pick-up line) If your tits are the Twin Towers... can I be your Osama?

Mom, shut up. Me? I don't shut up, I grow up. When I look at you, I throw up.

Abortion is becoming more and more expensive these days. So visit Ammu-nation and pick up an Armsan RS-X1 tactical shotgun. It comes with a free box of ammo and a three year warranty. Buy now, pay later.

A kid goes into a restaurant without parents, and a waitress came up and said, "You have to leave; this is a family restaurant."

"Knock knock."

"Who's there?"

"The FBI."

"The FBI who?"

"Are you dumb? It's the f#cking FBI, now open up!"

Hey, I got some Domino's pizza, salad, breadsticks, and chicken wings for everyone. Yeah, but make sure Ms. Mandingo gorilla don't eat all up, because if she do, I'm going have to shove it up her fur.