Ups jokes
Me and my friend roasting each other.
Him: Your dad dropped you on purpose, but my dad dropped me by accident.
Me: But after dropping you, he never picked you up.
A boy tried to give a tree a high-five, but instead, he ended up hanging.
Mommy, Mommy! Are we dragons?
Shut up and don’t breathe on the drapes.
Your mom is so fat, when she swam in the sea, Wales came up to her and said, "We are family, even now you’re fatter than me."
A small boy went up to a dog fountain? The more you. HAHA gorgeous ddollars of benjamin frnakus wghen hes wearing beakini bea at the beach hahaha.
What happens when a cow farm gets destroyed, then built up again?
It'll be udder renovation!
Why don't pirates take a bath before walking the plank?
'Cause they just wash up onshore.
When the ugliest cat looked at you, then you search up the ugliest thing in the world, you show up.
I asked an American if their national anthem was "Pumped Up Kicks."
Why do orphans like Minecraft? So they can build a home...
But a creeper blows it up.
When I got to school, they gave me an Acer laptop, so I went up to the teacher and aced her.
Where do all orphan chickens end up? Foster Farms.
You're walking one day and a little kid, about 5-6 years old, comes up to you asking, "What's a condom?" You have to give that child the wrong answer, what would you tell them? Comment on what you would tell them.
What did the acorn say when it grew up?
Geometry.
(Geometry= "Gee, I'm a tree!")
On this website, I just searched up "My jokes". In response, it said, "No jokes found." Wth.
Jordan, you stupid ass! Addison never bothered you so leave her the FUCK alone! How about this? Get up, go outside, stop being a jackass, and get a fucking life!
Bf: Babe, do you love me?
Gf: Of course, why do you ask?
Bf: I heard that your mom passed away, and I went to pick some roses for you to try to cheer you up, and then I remembered why I went to the garden.
My doctor said I could have up to 20 units a week. But now I've eaten half of my kitchen.
Well, we started off by ripping up ALL of the decking.
Abandon ship!
A few days ago, I phoned up the spiritual leader of Tibet, and he sent me a large goat with a long neck. Turns out I phoned Dial-a-Llama.