3 Europeans head to an island. They are captured by the island people. They are going to kill them and they plead. They grant them a chance to live. The island people tell them to grab a fruit from the tribe's garden and bring it back, then to follow the task at hand. The first guy brings back a peach. The island leader says, "Stick it up your ass. If you laugh, you die." The first guy shoves it up his ass and laughs, so they kill him. The second guy brings a grape, he does the same and laughs, making them kill him. The first two are in heaven together. "Peaches are fuzzy so I laughed. How the hell did you die? You had a grape!" says the first guy. The second guy replied,"It didn't tickle at all. I laughted at the sight the third guy was bringing over a pinapple."
Pussys and tits have one thing in common they both made for kids but men end up licking them or suckling them
Ps. My brother made this up when he had no meds.... I almost died 😅
What does ATM stand for........
Answer: Amy’s Terrible Mom
😂🤣
Russians think they are tuffer than Americans. Here are some reasons for the Russians out here reading this
1 USA was NEVER invaded 2 USA never commits as many war crimes as Russia does! 3 USA made the first nuclear weapon so yeah shove that up your ass Russians 4 Our soldiers don’t rape kids 5 we have more Allie’s than you 6 we are smaller but stronger 7 Random civilians in the USA have stronger guns than Russian military does!
what is depressing, alone, chronic, and messed up? Me
I asked my date to meet me at the gym today. She didn't show up. That's when I knew we weren't gonna work out.
You so skinny when you lift up weights you fall through your asshole
When your friends talking about sports: Jake says " It was 17.56M people watching in basketball championship"🦁
Sam says " It was 113M People watching the Super Bowl" 😯🐱
Avion says "It was up from 1.12 billion people watching World Cup 😶🙀
I woke up one night and it was really dark in my room. Then my TV started to float out the window. I said, "Drop it, nig-"
I went up to my mom and asked how humanity started. She said it started with monkeys, so I went up to my dad and asked. My dad said it all started with Adam and Eve, so I told my dad that mom said humanity started with monkeys, and dad said mom was telling her side of the story. LOL🤣
Pilot: This is my last flight everyone Passangers: *Clap* Pilot: I became a pilot for one reason. To conquer my greatest fear. Flight Attendant: And what is that? Pilot: Dying alone. * speeds up towards Twin Towers* Also the Pilot: Now who is ready to play some Jeng------
what did the woman do after meeting up with a rapist?
sue the dating site for matching her with him
Stephen hawking once stood up to bow down to chuck norris
Me and my wife decided we would only smoke after sex. I'm still on the first pack. She's up to 2 packs a week.
Guy goes into the gas station says I need a box of rubbers with pesticide. The cashier said pesticide don't you mean spermicide? The guy says no! My old lady has had a bug up her ass all week and I am going to kill it.
My wife is so fat. I finally got up the energy to walk around to the other side. I found someone else!
My wife is so fat. She asked me to get on top I had to get a step ladder. When I got up there my ears popped and the air was so thin. I had to have 2 Sherpas drag me off the mountain.
My wife is so fat. She jumped up in the air and got stuck.
Me going to the principal's after telling the kid with a wheelchair to to stand up for himself
I'd like to see things from your point of view but I can't seem to get my head that far up my ass.
