Ups jokes

I was such an ugly kid. When I played in the sandbox, the cat kept covering me up.

Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch a bucket of water.

WHERE DO THEY REALLY GO BECAUSE WATER CAN NOT BE AT THE TOP OF A HILL!?. I honestly think that only people with a physics degree can make nursery rhythms.

I’m going to reenact the ending of Saw (2004), except I won’t stand up and shut the door.

Yo mama's so stupid, she put lipstick on her forehead to make up her mind.

My birthday's on September 11th, I'm gonna turn the fuck up and throw a banger! Then rub my tits in birthday cake frosting!!! WOOOOOOOOO!

Never gonna give you up.

What did Michael Jackson say before he broke up with Billie Jean?

"Billie Jean is not my lover!"

The Ruler of Varvona wanted a fruitcake, but his subjects showed up at his castle with a Christian instead.

And he said: "NO, NO, NO! YOU IMBECILES! NOT THAT KIND OF FRUITCAKE!"

Why does Hitler hate golf?

He would end up in a bunker!

You're so ugly, your class searched up Godfrey Baguma and all called out your name!

Pick up lines.

"One fish, two fish, three fish, I’m breaking up with you, b*tch!"

"Hey there little mister, I’m dating your sister."

When you fall asleep on the couch and wake up in your bed.

But you know you live alone.

Someone went up to an orphan and asked him why he was talking to the air. He said he was talking to his mom.

I was gonna walk up to an emo and say, "Do you get jealous when your phone dies?"

What did the Taliban say to the Afghan?

Nothing, they blew him up.

EDP445 is a cupcake. Look it up.

Jack and Jill went up the hill to have a thrill with pills. Jack came down, fuck a clown, and the cum made them frown.

Short girl: "How do you see up there?"

Tall guy: "Who said that?"

I spit my drink out and then ran away.

Your children grew up faster than it took you to leave for the milk.

You. Me. Gas station. What are we getting for dinner? Sushi of course. Uh oh! There was a roofie in our gas station sushi. We black out and wake up in a sewer surrounded by fish.

Horny fish. You know what that means. Fish orgy. The stench draws in a bear. What do we do? We're gonna fight it. Bear fight. Bare handed. Bare, naked? Oh, yes please. We befriend the bear after we beat it in a brawl and ride it into a Chuck E. Cheese. Dance Dance Revolution. Revolution? Overthrow the government? Uh, I think so. Next thing you know, I'm reincarnated as Jesus Christ. Then I turn into a jet, fly into the sun, black out again, wake up, do a bump, white out, which I didn't even know you could do. Then I smoked a joint, greened out. Then I turn into the sun. Uh oh! Looks like the meth is kicking in. aklfhaofhasfahfakh AAAAAAAAA afahfioahflkf AAAAA