Ups jokes
What holds the sun ☀️ up in the sky?
Sunbeams.
When you go to a baseball game and they say, "Heads up!" and you put your head up, and the ball hits you in the head.
When you break up with your online girlfriend, and you hear your uncle crying in the other room.
When you're having a normal day at school, but then...
"All the other kids with the pumped up kicks"
I'll kill a bitch like the policeman did to that white woman. He chopped her up and put her in the woods, the suck fuck.
My sister is the weird dark one and emo of the family. I'm the bright happy one. Once in 3rd grade, I got a huge A on mine, and my sis got a D-.
In the playground near a tree, we were sitting and playing. I said, "Hey, a C- is not that bad," and raised my hand up to give her a high five, but she left me hanging.
What's the definition of disgusting?
Sticking 5 oysters up your grandmother and sucking 6 out!
Today, me and my best friend went to the Grand Canyon. He was taking up all the space by the edge, and I told him to back up. R.I.P. to him.
My mom said I need Jesus in my life, so I drunk up the holy water ;}
Dulux have created a new type of paint. It's called "Sue Grey." It covers up everything.
Me people call me emo.
Older cousin: Why?
Because I always have my hood up and wear black cloths and wear black cross earrings.
Yo mama is so ugly, when she looked at the mirror, I cracked up.
HAIKU JOKE:
Helen Keller could Fuck a blind man so hard that she Ends up with his child.
Yo mama so stupid, she went to Dr. Pepper for a check up.
Your mom is so fat that when she fell on the sidewalk, nobody laughed, but the sidewalk cracked up.
What does a blind man and your dick have in common?
They both can’t get up without a dog.
What's the difference between emos and 9/11?
The emos are still there, high up off the ground.
Teacher says, "Okay class, today we're gonna talk about what everyone wants to be when they grow up." Little Johnny, how about you go first."
Little Jonny: "I want to be a speed bump when I grow up!"
"You raise me up to stand on mountains," said the dwarf pornstar on my penis.
Patient: Doctor, every time I look in a mirror, I feel ill, as if I'm about to throw up. What's wrong with me?
Doctor: I don't know, but your eyesight is perfect.